Last night, I had Jule sitting on the floor in front of me so he could play with his Jungle toy. Usually, he slumps forward, and that is how he kind-of sits up. Last night, he straightened his back! He sat for several minutes like that before he looked at something and started falling to the side. That means he should be sitting up soon! It will be so nice for him to sit up because it will help his reflux even more. He went to sleep again at 7 since I didn't let him have a nap in the evening, but he woke up screaming 3x before 9:30. I gave him Tylenol around 7:30 because Brenda said his gums felt swollen to her, so maybe it's teething pain. I let him cry it out the last two times, and he didn't last long. He did, however, roll to his back and couldn't get back to his stomach, so I had to go roll him over a couple of times. If I can get both kids in bed for good by 8, it would really help my sanity because I could have a little "me" time in the evenings. I am able to clean a little in the evenings while they both play here and there, which is a major improvement!
I'm going to end the new year with the Scripture that God impressed on my heart right before I got pregnant with Jule. Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." He truly did make a way in the desert. He brought me two beautiful children in the midst of infertility and miscarriage. The past is done, the mourning is over, and it's a new day...it's a new year. Happy New Year to everyone!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A Nice Evening with the Kids
Last night, Kevin was out of town, and I had a wonderful evening with the kids. Noly was happy & cute, and Jule was very content. Noly helped me cook chicken tenders and oven-baked french fries though she only ate two chicken tenders. I guess she just wasn't very hungry last night. Then, she was intent on dressing as a kitten, so we pulled out what we needed for her Halloween costume. She was a kitten for a few hours and even wanted to wear the costume to bed!
Jule played with his toys and watched Noly and I. Then, around 6:30, he got VERY tired. His little eyes were puffy, watery and red and he could barely hold his head up. I made him stay awake until 7:15 so he wouldn't just take a nap and then be up until 10 or 11. He drank his bottle at 7:15 and slept the rest of the night. I gave him green beans, and he loved them. I had only tried them once before because he got terrible gas from them, but that was over a month ago. This time, I didn't notice any extra gas or fussiness, so maybe they are a new food option for him.
Someone from Grace couldn't remember exactly who I was, so I went digging in the garage boxes and found my old photo albums. I took some pix of the old pix and posted them on Facebook. I had a nice time looking through the albums and remembering various occasions. Maybe I should grow my hair back out? It will take a long time if I do, and I'm not sure Kevin will like it. We'll see...I have a hair appointment on Saturday.
Today feels like a better day, and I'm just enjoying it!
Jule played with his toys and watched Noly and I. Then, around 6:30, he got VERY tired. His little eyes were puffy, watery and red and he could barely hold his head up. I made him stay awake until 7:15 so he wouldn't just take a nap and then be up until 10 or 11. He drank his bottle at 7:15 and slept the rest of the night. I gave him green beans, and he loved them. I had only tried them once before because he got terrible gas from them, but that was over a month ago. This time, I didn't notice any extra gas or fussiness, so maybe they are a new food option for him.
Someone from Grace couldn't remember exactly who I was, so I went digging in the garage boxes and found my old photo albums. I took some pix of the old pix and posted them on Facebook. I had a nice time looking through the albums and remembering various occasions. Maybe I should grow my hair back out? It will take a long time if I do, and I'm not sure Kevin will like it. We'll see...I have a hair appointment on Saturday.
Today feels like a better day, and I'm just enjoying it!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Precious Suffering
As my mind has been recounting the events of the past few weeks, I remembered the words to a very old song. I can't remember the name of the singer; he wasn't very popular. I think the name of the song was "Precious Suffering," and I'm going to type out the words to the best of my very foggy memory.
V1.
If the storm makes me more like Him,
If the night keeps His light from growing dim,
I won't fear though my tears fall like rain.
Let the storms come, let the night fall, let the tears rain.
Chorus1:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
We share a love so bittersweet for all the work you've done in me.
Let the One who suffered most be glorified.
Precious suffering, you're a dear old friend of mine.
V2.
Time will come when we say goodbye
When the Father's will in me is satisfied.
It may sound strange, but I'll be sad to see you go.
You've taught me more love, brought me more joy, shown me Jesus.
Chorus2:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
Without you, would I know all the blessings you have shown,
And would the gold in me ever be refined.
Precious suffering...
Bridge:
Oh to know the power of His resurrection,
That His all-sufficient grace is greater still.
That's all I can remember, but that's where I feel I am. I feel like every time I turn around, something else is slamming me against a wall. Since the week before Thanksgiving, both of the kids have been sick with RSV at one time or another, Jule has had a double ear infection followed by a single ear infection, Jule has been in the hospital with severe croup after being transported by an ambulance, I ended up with a sore throat and 102 fever while on the way home from the hospital, our trip to Indiana had to be stopped after making it as far as Asheville, and we spent Christmas with a screaming baby with neither one of our families around. I'm so frustrated...I feel so robbed. I feel robbed of the Christmas I had been so excited for, I feel robbed of having a baby that I can enjoy through the infant months, and I feel robbed of having a normal "mommy" life. There is a word for all this...suffering. Yet still, as oppressed as I feel, I have not endured anywhere near the suffering that Jesus did.
I Peter 4:12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
I don't understand why this all has to be so hard and overwhelming, but I do feel that I need to refocus my mind not on what is seen but on what is unseen. What is unseen is the eternal fruit of suffering.
2 Corinthians 4:15-18 says, "For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."
I have to believe that things won't always be this difficult; otherwise, I wouldn't survive. I also have to believe that the suffering will pave the way for the future, that going through these times will make me stronger, and that the labor for my children will benefit their eternal beings. After all, my number one goal is that they know God. The crying, sickness and weariness won't mean a thing in a place where none of the aforementioned items exist. So, I must reconnect with Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Now, if I could only catch my breath for just a little bit....
V1.
If the storm makes me more like Him,
If the night keeps His light from growing dim,
I won't fear though my tears fall like rain.
Let the storms come, let the night fall, let the tears rain.
Chorus1:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
We share a love so bittersweet for all the work you've done in me.
Let the One who suffered most be glorified.
Precious suffering, you're a dear old friend of mine.
V2.
Time will come when we say goodbye
When the Father's will in me is satisfied.
It may sound strange, but I'll be sad to see you go.
You've taught me more love, brought me more joy, shown me Jesus.
Chorus2:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
Without you, would I know all the blessings you have shown,
And would the gold in me ever be refined.
Precious suffering...
Bridge:
Oh to know the power of His resurrection,
That His all-sufficient grace is greater still.
That's all I can remember, but that's where I feel I am. I feel like every time I turn around, something else is slamming me against a wall. Since the week before Thanksgiving, both of the kids have been sick with RSV at one time or another, Jule has had a double ear infection followed by a single ear infection, Jule has been in the hospital with severe croup after being transported by an ambulance, I ended up with a sore throat and 102 fever while on the way home from the hospital, our trip to Indiana had to be stopped after making it as far as Asheville, and we spent Christmas with a screaming baby with neither one of our families around. I'm so frustrated...I feel so robbed. I feel robbed of the Christmas I had been so excited for, I feel robbed of having a baby that I can enjoy through the infant months, and I feel robbed of having a normal "mommy" life. There is a word for all this...suffering. Yet still, as oppressed as I feel, I have not endured anywhere near the suffering that Jesus did.
I Peter 4:12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
I don't understand why this all has to be so hard and overwhelming, but I do feel that I need to refocus my mind not on what is seen but on what is unseen. What is unseen is the eternal fruit of suffering.
2 Corinthians 4:15-18 says, "For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."
I have to believe that things won't always be this difficult; otherwise, I wouldn't survive. I also have to believe that the suffering will pave the way for the future, that going through these times will make me stronger, and that the labor for my children will benefit their eternal beings. After all, my number one goal is that they know God. The crying, sickness and weariness won't mean a thing in a place where none of the aforementioned items exist. So, I must reconnect with Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Now, if I could only catch my breath for just a little bit....
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Still Busy
Wow, it's been almost a week since I blogged. We have still been so busy, not really with anything new, just with keeping up. I went to the Neurologist last week and started a new migraine preventive med on Saturday. It's a blood pressure med that reduces the blood flow in your head, thus reducing migraines. Saturday through Monday were rough. I had nausea, insomnia, hot flashes and felt very weak. Yesterday, my body started adjusting better, and those side effects seem to be gone. I've not had a full-blown migraine since starting the meds, and with this weather, I normally would. I've only had some dull headaches that don't even merit taking Tylenol. Maybe the meds will stop the migraines altogether?!
Jule has been acting really screamy/fussy for the past few days again. He is going to bed, then waking up about 30 minutes later completely unhappy. The past two nights, I've given him Tylenol and let him cry it out. He usually lasts about 10 minutes, but Sunday night, he lasted 10 minutes several different times until we figured out that he needed Tylenol. I think he's teething since the doc said his ears were clearing up last week, and he just finished his antibiotic yesterday. We'll have to keep an eye on him. He is majorly drooling and chewing on everything, but he's been doing that for a month now, so I don't know.
I can't believe we leave for Indiana in just over a week. I'm scared that Jule will scream in the car, but we are going to try it at night. Maybe we can drive both Friday and Saturday nights all through the night....or even 7-3 each night if Jule will sleep. I don't expect Noly to be a problem. She's a good traveler now.
Jule has been acting really screamy/fussy for the past few days again. He is going to bed, then waking up about 30 minutes later completely unhappy. The past two nights, I've given him Tylenol and let him cry it out. He usually lasts about 10 minutes, but Sunday night, he lasted 10 minutes several different times until we figured out that he needed Tylenol. I think he's teething since the doc said his ears were clearing up last week, and he just finished his antibiotic yesterday. We'll have to keep an eye on him. He is majorly drooling and chewing on everything, but he's been doing that for a month now, so I don't know.
I can't believe we leave for Indiana in just over a week. I'm scared that Jule will scream in the car, but we are going to try it at night. Maybe we can drive both Friday and Saturday nights all through the night....or even 7-3 each night if Jule will sleep. I don't expect Noly to be a problem. She's a good traveler now.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Busy Week
It's been an incredibly busy week. Monday, I came down with a stomach virus and a migraine. Kevin spent the day running back and forth between home, work, preschool and the babysitter. Then, he stayed home all evening to pretty much take care of the kids. I was feeling better Tuesday, so I told him to go ahead and work late. I had the kids alone Wednesday and Thursday, so I had no time to get online. On top of that, my work computer was infected with spyware and was a complete mess. Yesterday, I took both kids to the doctor for ear checks. I'm glad that both are doing fine.
Tonight, we are going to the Worship Arts Christmas Party at David & Pam's. Kathleen is keeping Noly, and we are taking Jule to the church for childcare. We feel like he has way less physical contact with kids and is less likely to get sick. Noly would love to play with the kids, but I'm afraid she would catch something.
Saturday, I plan to get some "me" time in the late morning. I really need some time to myself away from the kids after having them so much by myself this week. Last night, I had to take an Ativan again. Jule has not been his normal self ever since Thanksgiving, but he is improving as his ears improve.
Noly is becoming very conversational and is still peeing in the potty here and there. It's not consistent yet, but I'm sure she'll get the hang of it before long. Last night, she was a bit wild and chatty, so I told her to get 3 books and sit on the couch to read them while I ate. She did, and I was amazed how well she sat there still and quiet, reading the books to herself. We'll have to do that more often! I didn't have time to sit and read books to her last night, but we do try to every night when possible.
Jule is really grabbing for things right now. I have to watch my dinner plate when he is on my lap. He is also very interested in toys. I put new batteries in Noly's stuffed Einstein caterpillar last night, and he really liked listening to the noises it made. Ever since his vomiting episode on Saturday, he's been refusing solids. Brenda and I have both had to feed him a bite and quickly stick his bottle in his mouth so he won't spit it out. It takes SO much longer to feed him right now, but he needs the solids. Otherwise, he'd take a bottle every hour and a half. That's just too much milk! I bought matching Christmas pj's for the kids and I, and Jule completely fits in a 12 month sleeper already! He is so big!
Hopefully, this weekend will prove to be more relaxing than the week has been. Next weekend, I'll be singing, then my birthday will be the following Monday....busy, busy.
Tonight, we are going to the Worship Arts Christmas Party at David & Pam's. Kathleen is keeping Noly, and we are taking Jule to the church for childcare. We feel like he has way less physical contact with kids and is less likely to get sick. Noly would love to play with the kids, but I'm afraid she would catch something.
Saturday, I plan to get some "me" time in the late morning. I really need some time to myself away from the kids after having them so much by myself this week. Last night, I had to take an Ativan again. Jule has not been his normal self ever since Thanksgiving, but he is improving as his ears improve.
Noly is becoming very conversational and is still peeing in the potty here and there. It's not consistent yet, but I'm sure she'll get the hang of it before long. Last night, she was a bit wild and chatty, so I told her to get 3 books and sit on the couch to read them while I ate. She did, and I was amazed how well she sat there still and quiet, reading the books to herself. We'll have to do that more often! I didn't have time to sit and read books to her last night, but we do try to every night when possible.
Jule is really grabbing for things right now. I have to watch my dinner plate when he is on my lap. He is also very interested in toys. I put new batteries in Noly's stuffed Einstein caterpillar last night, and he really liked listening to the noises it made. Ever since his vomiting episode on Saturday, he's been refusing solids. Brenda and I have both had to feed him a bite and quickly stick his bottle in his mouth so he won't spit it out. It takes SO much longer to feed him right now, but he needs the solids. Otherwise, he'd take a bottle every hour and a half. That's just too much milk! I bought matching Christmas pj's for the kids and I, and Jule completely fits in a 12 month sleeper already! He is so big!
Hopefully, this weekend will prove to be more relaxing than the week has been. Next weekend, I'll be singing, then my birthday will be the following Monday....busy, busy.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
Wow, Thanksgiving weekend was quite an event for us this year! Thanksgiving Day was glorious! We all got up around 7:30, and Noly and I put up the tree together while Jule watched from his exersaucer. Then, while he took a nap, we decorated the tree. It definitely has her touch this year, and I love it! Kevin organized the garage as he brought Christmas decorations in, and it looks so much better. We have a lot of room in there now! I even got to take a nap in our bed with Jule. It only lasted 20 minutes before he spit up all over our bed, but I so enjoyed it. I love cuddling with my last baby.
Friday, I watched Jade, Noly and Jule while Kevin helped Kathleen get her computer moved to her new apartment. That's when it all started...Jule started arching his back and crying hysterically. Saturday, I took him to the Doctor, and he had a double ear infection. Kevin and I were both on our last nerve from all the screaming, so we were exhausted by Saturday evening. We gave him the antibiotic at 2, then baby motrin at 6. At 7, he started throwing up and covered Kevin and himself, the chair, the wall, and the floor. I gave him a second bath, and he promptly fell asleep. We got to bed at 11 PM after cleaning up everything, playing with Noly and doing numerous loads of laundry. Jule woke up at 3 AM starving and threw up only once with that bottle. Kevin got up with him and pretty much had to hold him to keep him asleep after that. We ended up holding him all weekend whenever he needed a nap. I think laying down hurt his ears more. He was really good for Brenda yesterday, but he's been refusing solids since Saturday. I've just been giving him bottles instead.
All Sunday night, I was nauseous and felt feverish. I only had 2 hours of broken sleep because I kept waking up feeling awful. I woke up at 5 with a migraine, then ended up having a stomach bug on top of that all day and evening. Kevin did a wonderful job with the kids last night, and I helped whenever I wasn't in the bathroom. I'm feeling better this morning. I have another migraine, but I think it's from dehydration. Hopefully, tonight will be an easier night for all of us!
We found out that Jule weighs 20 lbs! That's 2 lbs more than I weighed at 1 year, and he's not even 5 months yet. What a chunker! Noly is 32 lbs, so I wonder how long it will take him to pass her up. Yesterday morning, she woke up while Kevin was taking Jule to Brenda's. I had her chocolate milk (Kawakee) waiting in a cooler by the bed, so she got in bed with me and drank her milk and watched Disney. She snuggled really close to me and said, "I love you." She is SO sweet and so caring when I'm not feeling well. Her tender heart is difficult to deal with when she gets in trouble because she cries over everything, but it is so refreshing to see it at other times. She was telling Kevin she missed me whenever I was in the bathroom last night. They are so precious to me, and I'm really missing them today.
Friday, I watched Jade, Noly and Jule while Kevin helped Kathleen get her computer moved to her new apartment. That's when it all started...Jule started arching his back and crying hysterically. Saturday, I took him to the Doctor, and he had a double ear infection. Kevin and I were both on our last nerve from all the screaming, so we were exhausted by Saturday evening. We gave him the antibiotic at 2, then baby motrin at 6. At 7, he started throwing up and covered Kevin and himself, the chair, the wall, and the floor. I gave him a second bath, and he promptly fell asleep. We got to bed at 11 PM after cleaning up everything, playing with Noly and doing numerous loads of laundry. Jule woke up at 3 AM starving and threw up only once with that bottle. Kevin got up with him and pretty much had to hold him to keep him asleep after that. We ended up holding him all weekend whenever he needed a nap. I think laying down hurt his ears more. He was really good for Brenda yesterday, but he's been refusing solids since Saturday. I've just been giving him bottles instead.
All Sunday night, I was nauseous and felt feverish. I only had 2 hours of broken sleep because I kept waking up feeling awful. I woke up at 5 with a migraine, then ended up having a stomach bug on top of that all day and evening. Kevin did a wonderful job with the kids last night, and I helped whenever I wasn't in the bathroom. I'm feeling better this morning. I have another migraine, but I think it's from dehydration. Hopefully, tonight will be an easier night for all of us!
We found out that Jule weighs 20 lbs! That's 2 lbs more than I weighed at 1 year, and he's not even 5 months yet. What a chunker! Noly is 32 lbs, so I wonder how long it will take him to pass her up. Yesterday morning, she woke up while Kevin was taking Jule to Brenda's. I had her chocolate milk (Kawakee) waiting in a cooler by the bed, so she got in bed with me and drank her milk and watched Disney. She snuggled really close to me and said, "I love you." She is SO sweet and so caring when I'm not feeling well. Her tender heart is difficult to deal with when she gets in trouble because she cries over everything, but it is so refreshing to see it at other times. She was telling Kevin she missed me whenever I was in the bathroom last night. They are so precious to me, and I'm really missing them today.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Tagged by Elissa...Marriage Survey
How long have you been married?
8.5 Years
Is this your first marriage?
No
Is it how you imagined it would be?
I guess so...I don't think about things like that very often. Just go with the flow.
What would you change?
Kevin being home more
Are you married to your soulmate?
Don't believe in soulmates
What do you argue about the most?
Messiness
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
God and our children.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Online
Where was your first date?
Applebees
Where were you when you became engaged?
My place
Did you live together before marriage?
Unfortunately, yes
What was your wedding song?
Choong Jung...wrote it myself
Who was in your wedding party?
Jen, Trish & Janice
Steve, Keith & Wade
Do you get along with the in-laws?
For the most part.
Whats your view on children?
We love them and are done and fulfilled with two
Does your spouse feel the same way?
Yes.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
Very much opposites attract
Do you go out without your spouse?
Not really...don't get out much
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
Maybe three days...he travels, so I've gotten used to him being away for short lengths of time
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
No.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Yes.
Does your Spouse trust you?
Yes.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
Pretty good unless it comes to buying gifts
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Some
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yes.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Yes. Disney World
Do you watch the same TV shows?
Usually
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
No, Kev is allergic to cheese
Who takes out the trash?
Both
Who does laundry??
Me.
Who cooks dinner?
I do or he grills
Do you have any traditions?
Watching Two and a Half Men together and going to Disney World yearly.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Yes.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
No.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Well, of course
Do you admit wrong doing?
Sometimes.
Does your spouse?
Sometimes.
Ok, Danette...your turn.
8.5 Years
Is this your first marriage?
No
Is it how you imagined it would be?
I guess so...I don't think about things like that very often. Just go with the flow.
What would you change?
Kevin being home more
Are you married to your soulmate?
Don't believe in soulmates
What do you argue about the most?
Messiness
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
God and our children.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Online
Where was your first date?
Applebees
Where were you when you became engaged?
My place
Did you live together before marriage?
Unfortunately, yes
What was your wedding song?
Choong Jung...wrote it myself
Who was in your wedding party?
Jen, Trish & Janice
Steve, Keith & Wade
Do you get along with the in-laws?
For the most part.
Whats your view on children?
We love them and are done and fulfilled with two
Does your spouse feel the same way?
Yes.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
Very much opposites attract
Do you go out without your spouse?
Not really...don't get out much
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
Maybe three days...he travels, so I've gotten used to him being away for short lengths of time
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
No.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Yes.
Does your Spouse trust you?
Yes.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
Pretty good unless it comes to buying gifts
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Some
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yes.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Yes. Disney World
Do you watch the same TV shows?
Usually
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
No, Kev is allergic to cheese
Who takes out the trash?
Both
Who does laundry??
Me.
Who cooks dinner?
I do or he grills
Do you have any traditions?
Watching Two and a Half Men together and going to Disney World yearly.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Yes.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
No.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Well, of course
Do you admit wrong doing?
Sometimes.
Does your spouse?
Sometimes.
Ok, Danette...your turn.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
November 26, 2007
I will always remember this day as the day I got my miracle BFP! It was 3:30 in the morning, and I had only slept an hour. I knew that insomnia was one of the first signs of pregnancy for me, so I decided to test at only 9 dpo. It was a very clear positive, and the rest is history. My chubby baby boy is now in our home! It was the fulfillment of a word God spoke to me when I was 14..."you will have a son." What a joy and delight he is to Kevin and I. I cherish 11/26/07.
I find it hilarious that, today, he decided to roll over for the first time. He was in his bed asleep on his tummy when I woke up. I looked at him as I was getting ready to walk out the door, and he was still asleep on his tummy. I went to grab something from the computer desk and heard him making noise, so I looked at him on the monitor, and he was on his back...happy as can be. I told Kevin he rolled over, and we both watched the monitor in excitement. This is just one step toward his esophagal muscle developing...as he gains more muscle control, he will get better and better. Now, we just have to teach him to roll from his back to his tummy so he can get to sleep at night when he rolls onto his back ; )
I find it hilarious that, today, he decided to roll over for the first time. He was in his bed asleep on his tummy when I woke up. I looked at him as I was getting ready to walk out the door, and he was still asleep on his tummy. I went to grab something from the computer desk and heard him making noise, so I looked at him on the monitor, and he was on his back...happy as can be. I told Kevin he rolled over, and we both watched the monitor in excitement. This is just one step toward his esophagal muscle developing...as he gains more muscle control, he will get better and better. Now, we just have to teach him to roll from his back to his tummy so he can get to sleep at night when he rolls onto his back ; )
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A Short Work Week
I'm so thankful to have a 3-day work week this week! It allows me to have time to put up the tree with Noly! I think she is going to be so excited to help me hang the ornaments. I really don't think I should put the presents under it because I think it may be too tempting for her.
We had a nice time with Mom last weekend. She was able to enjoy both kids, and Noly was pretty content to play with whoever was not holding Jule. We tried to switch off so that Mom could get time with both of them. Noly was crying yesterday morning when she woke up and realized that her grammy was gone. It was too early to wake her up to say goodbye.
It's all over the news that MUSC is laying off and doing furloughs. Right now, we are happy to be doing furloughs in our area. It is so much better than not having a job. I'm totally happy to sacrifice 4 days without pay in order to prevent layoffs right now. I do think it is going to get worse and that layoffs will be in the future, but for now, everyone in our area still has their job.
Jule is doing excellent! He is mainly happy most of the time. He is such a content baby when he feels good and still watches me wherever I go. He's just a little in love. We started giving him lunch yesterday since he was drinking a 6-oz bottle almost every hour and a half all day Sunday. I think we'll increase his breakfast to include some oatmeal if he's still that hungry since it won't constipate him like rice cereal does.
I'm loving Thanksgiving more than I ever have for one reason...handmade turkeys. Everywhere Noly goes, she is making turkeys with her hand print. How I LOVE seeing that little handprint and having the current size of her hands captured on paper. You can be certain that I will be saving those crafts. She is getting so mature, though she's still not potty training. In fact, she pooped in the tub Saturday morning and didn't care at all! We had to get her out of her tub, and I bathed her again in our tub while Kevin's cleaned the other one. It was so gross! I was really surprised that she didn't care.
Here is a picture from this weekend of both of the kids:
Friday, November 21, 2008
Mom Arrives Today
At 9:40, I'm going to leave to pick up my mom from the airport. I'm going to get Noly on the way so that she can see her Grammy come in on an airplane. Then, I'll take them both back to the house so they can spend some quality time together, and I will come back to work. I ended up getting slight food poisoning from the bagel place Kathleen and I had lunch at yesterday, so I'm not feeling terrific, but I'm ok.
Poor Noly was a mess when she got home last night. Her nose was running all over, she was wheezing, and she said her head hurt. Per the nurse, I gave her Benadryl instead of cough medicine, and it really helped her wheezing and coughing...very odd. I gave her motrin for her head, and we put a humidifier by her rocker and had her watch a movie. She was doing much better within an hour. This morning, her wheezing had significantly improved! Jule is still just stuffy, which is great! He was VERY fussy last night from about 8:30 until close to 10:30, but he was pleasant for the first part of the evening. He's been faithfully taking naps right when we get home at 4, and I think it has improved his evening mood : )
I think we're having a little Thanksgiving feast here at work this afternoon. I hope I can eat it!
Poor Noly was a mess when she got home last night. Her nose was running all over, she was wheezing, and she said her head hurt. Per the nurse, I gave her Benadryl instead of cough medicine, and it really helped her wheezing and coughing...very odd. I gave her motrin for her head, and we put a humidifier by her rocker and had her watch a movie. She was doing much better within an hour. This morning, her wheezing had significantly improved! Jule is still just stuffy, which is great! He was VERY fussy last night from about 8:30 until close to 10:30, but he was pleasant for the first part of the evening. He's been faithfully taking naps right when we get home at 4, and I think it has improved his evening mood : )
I think we're having a little Thanksgiving feast here at work this afternoon. I hope I can eat it!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Song & Thanking God
I am happy to report that Jule, while very congested and coughing from sinus drainage, has absolutely no wheezing or breathing difficulty. He has been a happy little guy for three days now. He had a rough afternoon for Brenda yesterday, but he was fine all evening at home. Kathleen came to help me with the kids since Kevin was out of town, and she said she missed him already this morning...unusual with Jule!!! He's becoming this delightful, happy-go-lucky baby, and I SO hope he stays that way!
Noly had a rough night. She acted like she felt ok through the evening, but once she was in bed, she could not sleep because she was coughing so much. She was also wheezing quite a bit. I steamed up the bathroom with a hot shower before I drew their bath so that they took a bath in a steamy bathroom. Then, I turned on the humidifier in her room. I also gave her some cough medicine. Nothing seemed to help the wheezing or the coughing. Finally, when she wasn't sleeping by 9:45, I put her in bed with me. She fell asleep within a half hour but was waking me up coughing, so I carried her to her own bed. By 11, we were all sleeping. Jule was coughing at 5 this morning, but it didn't wake him up. When I got Noly up this morning, I asked her how she was feeling because I could hear her wheezing. She said, "I fine. Sick all gone." She was her usual spunky self this morning, so maybe she is feeling better but has a lingering cough and wheezing? I'm glad she's happy : )
A song started brewing this morning that I think will be called "Thank You." While I was getting ready for work and getting the kids ready, I would stop and jot down the words I was getting on our Comcast bill. I had a minute to find the notes on the piano quickly so I wouldn't forget what I had so far. Noly was incredibly helpful with that ; ) It feels like everything keeps coming back to thanking God in every circumstance. Jeff Litchenberg had something about it in his Facebook status, KaRena's message that I listened to online was about thanking God...and to top it off, Thanksgiving is only a week away from today. It is also coupled with trusting in God's promises to us and thanking Him for them. I wish I could post what I have so far, but that would be unwise due to copyright issues. God has truly poured blessings over my life, like a sweet falling rain.
God,
Thank You for your power and Your might and Your unfailing love. Thank You for Your favor over our lives. Thank You for calling us Your children and blessing us with children and for taking delight in us as Your children. Thank You for surrounding us on every side. Thank you for listening to me even more attentively than I listen to my children when they are sick. Thank You for Your faithfulness that extends to many generations. Thank You for meeting my needs before I even know I have them. Thank You for this day, and may it be used for Your glory....Amen.
Noly had a rough night. She acted like she felt ok through the evening, but once she was in bed, she could not sleep because she was coughing so much. She was also wheezing quite a bit. I steamed up the bathroom with a hot shower before I drew their bath so that they took a bath in a steamy bathroom. Then, I turned on the humidifier in her room. I also gave her some cough medicine. Nothing seemed to help the wheezing or the coughing. Finally, when she wasn't sleeping by 9:45, I put her in bed with me. She fell asleep within a half hour but was waking me up coughing, so I carried her to her own bed. By 11, we were all sleeping. Jule was coughing at 5 this morning, but it didn't wake him up. When I got Noly up this morning, I asked her how she was feeling because I could hear her wheezing. She said, "I fine. Sick all gone." She was her usual spunky self this morning, so maybe she is feeling better but has a lingering cough and wheezing? I'm glad she's happy : )
A song started brewing this morning that I think will be called "Thank You." While I was getting ready for work and getting the kids ready, I would stop and jot down the words I was getting on our Comcast bill. I had a minute to find the notes on the piano quickly so I wouldn't forget what I had so far. Noly was incredibly helpful with that ; ) It feels like everything keeps coming back to thanking God in every circumstance. Jeff Litchenberg had something about it in his Facebook status, KaRena's message that I listened to online was about thanking God...and to top it off, Thanksgiving is only a week away from today. It is also coupled with trusting in God's promises to us and thanking Him for them. I wish I could post what I have so far, but that would be unwise due to copyright issues. God has truly poured blessings over my life, like a sweet falling rain.
God,
Thank You for your power and Your might and Your unfailing love. Thank You for Your favor over our lives. Thank You for calling us Your children and blessing us with children and for taking delight in us as Your children. Thank You for surrounding us on every side. Thank you for listening to me even more attentively than I listen to my children when they are sick. Thank You for Your faithfulness that extends to many generations. Thank You for meeting my needs before I even know I have them. Thank You for this day, and may it be used for Your glory....Amen.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The Dreaded RSV
And so it begins....both kids have RSV : ( Noly went in, and the nurse could hear the wheezing. So, they checked her oxygen level...95% (wanted 100%, but would be satisfied with 90%). They also swabbed both of her nostrils, which she tolerated with her bottom lip poking out. Dr. C came back in and said she does have RSV. We didn't take Jule in because we didn't want to expose him to anything else, and we knew he had whatever she had. Dr. C said that they could go to the babysitter's if they didn't have fevers, diarrhea or vomiting, which they hadn't. I spoke with the babysitter to see what she was comfortable with, and she agreed with the doctor. So, Jule is there today. Noly had a rough night, coughing every 10 minutes even with cough medicine, so I let her sleep in and kept an eye on her when she got up. She seemed to be wheezing less than yesterday but coughing more, and she didn't have a fever, so I sent her to Kevin's mom for the day.
We had an absolute blast together yesterday. It was just Noly and I from 12:30 until 4:30. We put on our flannel jammies, ate Chick-Fil-A, watched Diego, and then I told her she could take a nap with me. I told her I had a surprise for her (thinking my flannel Star Wars sheets were in the closet). Oops, they must still be packed up in the garage. Since I had already told her I had a surprise, I gave her a Christmas present early. She was only getting two, so now she'll only get one...she won't care. It was a Little People Camping set. We played with it for awhile, then we took a nap in "Mommy's Big Bed." It was so nice to spend some alone time with her and give her some undivided attention. She just hasn't had much of that since Jule was born.
Kevin picked up Jule and brought him home around 4:30 so I wouldn't have to wake Noly up from a nap to go get Jule. He was a tad stuffy but was in a good mood overall. Monday, he was absolutely delightful. Last night, he was just a tad fussy for a short time, but he was happy in general. Both nights, he's been in bed by 8:30! He was laughing hysterically at Noly last night as she rang the bell on his exersaucer. This morning, he woke up VERY stuffy and was coughing because of sinus drainage. So far, he's not showing any signs of respiratory problems. He's about 2 days behind Noly on this, so I'll be watching him closely tonight and tomorrow. I find myself freaking out off and on, but I have to remember that God has a plan for him and will keep him safe.
Kevin left today to go out of town and won't be back until after bedtime tomorrow night, so that means I have two nights alone with two kids with RSV...not a pleasant thought. I was listening to a sermon online about thanking God, and one thing that hit me was to find the blessing in all situations. I am thankful to God that my babies even exist, and I am thankful that they are healthy enough to not be in the hospital right now. I am thankful that I know He has His angels surrounding them, and that nothing can touch them that doesn't first have to go through Him. We'll make it through these next two nights. It might take an Ativan or two, but we'll make it : )
We had an absolute blast together yesterday. It was just Noly and I from 12:30 until 4:30. We put on our flannel jammies, ate Chick-Fil-A, watched Diego, and then I told her she could take a nap with me. I told her I had a surprise for her (thinking my flannel Star Wars sheets were in the closet). Oops, they must still be packed up in the garage. Since I had already told her I had a surprise, I gave her a Christmas present early. She was only getting two, so now she'll only get one...she won't care. It was a Little People Camping set. We played with it for awhile, then we took a nap in "Mommy's Big Bed." It was so nice to spend some alone time with her and give her some undivided attention. She just hasn't had much of that since Jule was born.
Kevin picked up Jule and brought him home around 4:30 so I wouldn't have to wake Noly up from a nap to go get Jule. He was a tad stuffy but was in a good mood overall. Monday, he was absolutely delightful. Last night, he was just a tad fussy for a short time, but he was happy in general. Both nights, he's been in bed by 8:30! He was laughing hysterically at Noly last night as she rang the bell on his exersaucer. This morning, he woke up VERY stuffy and was coughing because of sinus drainage. So far, he's not showing any signs of respiratory problems. He's about 2 days behind Noly on this, so I'll be watching him closely tonight and tomorrow. I find myself freaking out off and on, but I have to remember that God has a plan for him and will keep him safe.
Kevin left today to go out of town and won't be back until after bedtime tomorrow night, so that means I have two nights alone with two kids with RSV...not a pleasant thought. I was listening to a sermon online about thanking God, and one thing that hit me was to find the blessing in all situations. I am thankful to God that my babies even exist, and I am thankful that they are healthy enough to not be in the hospital right now. I am thankful that I know He has His angels surrounding them, and that nothing can touch them that doesn't first have to go through Him. We'll make it through these next two nights. It might take an Ativan or two, but we'll make it : )
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Matthew 6
Noly has had a stuffy nose since Friday. I didn't think anything of it until she woke up today wheezing and barky-coughing. It is all-to-familiar to me. I could be wrong, but this is exactly what happened when she had RSV in January 2007. I'm not overly nervous about her because she is 3 and is strong and healthy. I'm worried about Jule getting it. I don't know how strong his lungs are at this point in his life. He appears to be a very healthy boy if you go by weight, but that does not reflect the strength of his lungs.
As I started to get panicy, I looked up a verse that came to my mind. I looked up "take no thought" because it's not anyone else but God that is in control of this whole situation. The entire chapter of Matthew 6 is so comforting. It's basically saying, "Don't worry about it. God has everything completely under control." It's hard not to worry, especially when it involves your children. I do know that God brought Jule here through numerous difficulties, and He is fully capable of sustaining his life...EVEN IF he ends up in the hospital...God still has him in His hand.
As I was reading, I also thought about the economic difficulties everyone is experiencing. Even Focus on the Family is having to lay off employees. If you think about it too much, your head will start spinning...everything seems to be piling on top of each other. But again, God is in control of it all, and all we can do is be faithful with what He gives us...no matter how much or how little. We can't serve two masters, and God will take care of those who serve him. I think it's normal to be worried about money at a time like this, but if it overtakes our lives or our trust in God, then we are truly serving money and not Him. Any worry is like that. I don't want to serve my worries. So, I'm giving the lives and health of my babies over to Him, knowing He created them in the first place and will guard what I have entrusted to Him.
As I started to get panicy, I looked up a verse that came to my mind. I looked up "take no thought" because it's not anyone else but God that is in control of this whole situation. The entire chapter of Matthew 6 is so comforting. It's basically saying, "Don't worry about it. God has everything completely under control." It's hard not to worry, especially when it involves your children. I do know that God brought Jule here through numerous difficulties, and He is fully capable of sustaining his life...EVEN IF he ends up in the hospital...God still has him in His hand.
As I was reading, I also thought about the economic difficulties everyone is experiencing. Even Focus on the Family is having to lay off employees. If you think about it too much, your head will start spinning...everything seems to be piling on top of each other. But again, God is in control of it all, and all we can do is be faithful with what He gives us...no matter how much or how little. We can't serve two masters, and God will take care of those who serve him. I think it's normal to be worried about money at a time like this, but if it overtakes our lives or our trust in God, then we are truly serving money and not Him. Any worry is like that. I don't want to serve my worries. So, I'm giving the lives and health of my babies over to Him, knowing He created them in the first place and will guard what I have entrusted to Him.
Monday, November 17, 2008
A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving
I got sucked into a blog today. It is written by a woman who found out that her baby's heart had formed outside of her little body at her 11 week ultrasound. She made a choice to carry the baby to term, and the baby was born recently and did not survive. It broke my heart. Now, I have a dual monitor at work, and I was reading the blog on one side while Jule's sweet smile stared at me from the other. It made me feel so grateful that he is here...basically healthy and full of life. With all the fertility and pregnancy complications we had, we have two living children to show for it...and it is all by the Grace of God!
I know that I am human and that those feelings will dim as I'm attempting to comfort my screaming child in the 3rd hour of a 9-hour crying marathon. It's not that I don't love him, and it's not that I'm ungrateful for him at times like that, but it is HARD to FEEL joyful and thankful in those moments. My heart beats for him, but the screaming tests me to what feels beyond my human ability to cope.
I decided to look up "thanksgiving" in the Bible, and I noticed that there are a number of times that it is coupled with the word "sacrifice." So, obviously, it's not always easy to be thankful. What is important is that we offer the sacrifice in the times that it is not easy. It can be coupled with a "sacrifice of praise." It is so important to not let our feelings rule us because they are just that...feelings. They are so undependable and fleeting. Our choice to sacrifice in the hard times will not go unnoticed in God's eyes. It is so easy to praise Him and thank Him when things are going well, when the economy is flourishing, when our children are happy, when things are going the way we want them to...of course our feelings are going to comply. It is a whole different matter to praise and thank Him when we are in a seeming bottomless pit, when all we want to do is cry our eyes out. I believe that, in that sacrifice, His hand is reaching to us to hold us, to lift us up.
It is my goal to always, always be thankful for what God has given me and to also thank Him in every situation. I don't have to thank Him FOR every situation, but I can be thankful IN every situation.
I Thessalonians 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
I know that I am human and that those feelings will dim as I'm attempting to comfort my screaming child in the 3rd hour of a 9-hour crying marathon. It's not that I don't love him, and it's not that I'm ungrateful for him at times like that, but it is HARD to FEEL joyful and thankful in those moments. My heart beats for him, but the screaming tests me to what feels beyond my human ability to cope.
I decided to look up "thanksgiving" in the Bible, and I noticed that there are a number of times that it is coupled with the word "sacrifice." So, obviously, it's not always easy to be thankful. What is important is that we offer the sacrifice in the times that it is not easy. It can be coupled with a "sacrifice of praise." It is so important to not let our feelings rule us because they are just that...feelings. They are so undependable and fleeting. Our choice to sacrifice in the hard times will not go unnoticed in God's eyes. It is so easy to praise Him and thank Him when things are going well, when the economy is flourishing, when our children are happy, when things are going the way we want them to...of course our feelings are going to comply. It is a whole different matter to praise and thank Him when we are in a seeming bottomless pit, when all we want to do is cry our eyes out. I believe that, in that sacrifice, His hand is reaching to us to hold us, to lift us up.
It is my goal to always, always be thankful for what God has given me and to also thank Him in every situation. I don't have to thank Him FOR every situation, but I can be thankful IN every situation.
I Thessalonians 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Exhaustion Monday
It always seems like I am exhausted on Mondays. I think I do more at home on the weekends than I do at work during the week. I've been trying to do a load of our laundry after a load of Jule's on weeknights so that it isn't all piled up by the weekend. It does help, but it's hard to find time to fold and put clean clothes away once they are done. I have to do Jule's every night due to the massive amount of spit-up that he produces daily.
I got my hair done with a ton of pink highlights on Saturday, then I went to the Outlets to get Jule some clothes for Christmas from Kevin's mom. I found outifts at Gymbo, Children's Place and Gap. My favorite outfit is from Gap.
I got my hair done with a ton of pink highlights on Saturday, then I went to the Outlets to get Jule some clothes for Christmas from Kevin's mom. I found outifts at Gymbo, Children's Place and Gap. My favorite outfit is from Gap.
I have some ironing that I did not get to last night that I need to do tonight, but I think that is all I didn't get finished this weekend. I sent Brenda a whole can of formula so that I won't have to spend time in the evenings measuring out formula for the next day. I also sent her Jule's baby food for the whole week. I'm trying hard to think of ways to cut down on what I do to make it easier. I also moved his daily things from a big diaper bag to his Buzz Lightyear backpack so it's easier to carry in the mornings. I'm starting to feel like I'm going to blink and he'll be as big as Noly. I just wish I could enjoy this age more. I try to embrace the happy moments he has and the milestones he reaches so that they overshadow the crying. Soon, he'll be running all over the house like Noly and we'll have to put the gates back on the stairs!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Overwhelmed
I'm in a state of feeling overwhelmed again...have been since Tuesday. It seems that when I get more than one night alone with the kids, I spiral downward. This week, I was alone with them Tues, Wed and Thurs. Today, I'm finding myself in tears again and desparately needing an Ativan and a break. I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow morning, and I told Kevin I'm going to the outlets afterwards because I've had way too much time at home alone with the kids. I need me time so that I can do the non-me time successfully. It's kind-of like putting your oxygen mask on when you're on an airplane before your child's. It seems counterintuitive, but if you can't breathe, you can't very well put the mask on your child. I feel like I'm smothered and suffocating. I so wish Jule was a normal, happy baby, but I can't change what he is like right now. I've tried EVERYTHING I can think of, and it's just not good enough.
My mom may be flying in for Jule's dedication next weekend. It will be nice to have her help and for her to see the kids. She will be here Friday through Monday if she comes. Jule wasn't smiling much when we were in Indiana, so she will love seeing how much he smiles now...even if it's not often, his smiles are huge and contagious! Noly has matured so much and understands so much more than she did only a few months ago. I plan to take her to the airport to pick up my mom if she comes. Won't Noly be thrilled! She is old enough now to understand that Grammy & Papa live far away and have to fly in an airplane. She does not know...yet...that you can also drive for a long, long time. She'll learn about that in December.
Oh, sweet Jule, please start feeling better soon so you can become the easy, happy baby that I see underneath the screaming.
My mom may be flying in for Jule's dedication next weekend. It will be nice to have her help and for her to see the kids. She will be here Friday through Monday if she comes. Jule wasn't smiling much when we were in Indiana, so she will love seeing how much he smiles now...even if it's not often, his smiles are huge and contagious! Noly has matured so much and understands so much more than she did only a few months ago. I plan to take her to the airport to pick up my mom if she comes. Won't Noly be thrilled! She is old enough now to understand that Grammy & Papa live far away and have to fly in an airplane. She does not know...yet...that you can also drive for a long, long time. She'll learn about that in December.
Oh, sweet Jule, please start feeling better soon so you can become the easy, happy baby that I see underneath the screaming.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
A New Idea
Last night, when I got to Brenda's, Jule was so tired. We ended up with the usual on the way home...him crying any time the car stopped, then he fell asleep when we were 1\4 mile from home. When I carried him in, he woke right up. This is our daily routine. Well, last night, I decided to take him straight up to his room and put him in the swing to help him sleep. He went to sleep in minutes and took a nice nap. Then, he was happier when he got up. Obviously, this is not the solution to his screaming episodes, but it could really help him taking his evening nap at 6 PM then staying awake until 9:30/10:00. He was fussy by the time 6:15 rolled around, but I was able to keep him awake until he took his bottle at 7:30. He fell asleep while I burped him and was in bed by 8. I was asleep by 8:45. Maybe this routine will help us at least get him to bed earlier?
Both of the kids woke up earlier than usual this morning, so I spent a lot of time with them before work. I put Noly's "Big Sister" shirt on her and Jule's "Baby Brother" shirt on him. Noly was so excited to show Brenda the shirt this morning. I hope I remember to get a pic of them together in their shirts before I change their clothes tonight. I got a few with Noly talking to Jule this morning, but she had a sweater on over her shirt.
Kevin is coming home tonight! Woo-hoo! This week difficult for me to survive. I ended up taking Ativan both nights that he was out. Noly was crying while she walked up the stairs this morning because she wanted her daddy. I think it was because my hands were full with Jule, and I could not hold her hand. When I carry him on the stairs, he's pretty much all I can handle because he's so big and and his movements are so unpredictable.
In two weeks from now, I will be having a 4-day weekend!!!
Both of the kids woke up earlier than usual this morning, so I spent a lot of time with them before work. I put Noly's "Big Sister" shirt on her and Jule's "Baby Brother" shirt on him. Noly was so excited to show Brenda the shirt this morning. I hope I remember to get a pic of them together in their shirts before I change their clothes tonight. I got a few with Noly talking to Jule this morning, but she had a sweater on over her shirt.
Kevin is coming home tonight! Woo-hoo! This week difficult for me to survive. I ended up taking Ativan both nights that he was out. Noly was crying while she walked up the stairs this morning because she wanted her daddy. I think it was because my hands were full with Jule, and I could not hold her hand. When I carry him on the stairs, he's pretty much all I can handle because he's so big and and his movements are so unpredictable.
In two weeks from now, I will be having a 4-day weekend!!!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I Wish I Could Make It Stop....
all the crying. I had such an awesome day off yesterday. I cleaned, wrapped presents and took a 3-hour nap. I thought the evening would be a breeze because it was such a relaxing day, but it only took minutes of Jule screaming for me to get very stressed out. Nothing I did made him happy, and I still have no idea what was wrong. Noly got all upset and started crying for her daddy, and that just made it all the worse. I took an Ativan, but I have no idea if it helped or not. After bathtime, Jule took an hour nap, and I was able to sit on the floor and play with Noly for awhile and get her into bed without trying to hurry while he screamed. I just need to hang in there for two more weeks, then I will have a 4-day weekend with Kevin home the whole time...just 14 more days. I'm really hoping that Jule is happy tonight and that it's a very low-key evening.
I'm looking forward to going to Indiana for Christmas this year. Hopefully, if we drive mostly at night, the kids will sleep a majority of the 15-hour trip. I think Noly will do much better at sleeping in the car now. At least she will understand time a little more and will be able to entertain herself more when she is awake. I have no idea what Jule will do. Our first drive to Indiana with Noly was when she was 14 months. I wonder what she will think of the snow. I would like to take her sledding. I'd also love to go skiing if we get the chance. I know we have 3 Christmas parties to go to, so I'm not sure we'll have the time. Finding someone to watch the kids there is not nearly as difficult as it is here.
Oh, I found out that baby dedication is November 22/23, so I scheduled Jule to be dedicated at the Saturday service. I can't wait! I need to find him an outfit to wear!
I'm looking forward to going to Indiana for Christmas this year. Hopefully, if we drive mostly at night, the kids will sleep a majority of the 15-hour trip. I think Noly will do much better at sleeping in the car now. At least she will understand time a little more and will be able to entertain herself more when she is awake. I have no idea what Jule will do. Our first drive to Indiana with Noly was when she was 14 months. I wonder what she will think of the snow. I would like to take her sledding. I'd also love to go skiing if we get the chance. I know we have 3 Christmas parties to go to, so I'm not sure we'll have the time. Finding someone to watch the kids there is not nearly as difficult as it is here.
Oh, I found out that baby dedication is November 22/23, so I scheduled Jule to be dedicated at the Saturday service. I can't wait! I need to find him an outfit to wear!
Monday, November 10, 2008
What a Weekend!
I am so tired that this is probably going to be very scattered...
The weekend services were amazing! We had a guest speaker, Adrian de Visser, from Sri Lanka. He has such a sweet spirit, and I enjoyed listening to what was in his heart to share. His son, Prashan, sang with us, and we had such an awesome time of praise and worship. Adrian shared how he and his wife, Opheila, had been told that they could not have children. So, he went to the ocean and wept. At the ocean, God told him to stop crying because he would have children. I think he said Prashan was born a year later, then they had a daughter. I asked Prashan to pray over Jule because it was so special to me that he was a miracle birth just as Jule was.
Ann was awesome this weekend at helping me find a part on "Let the Worshippers Arise." I'm hoping to learn more parts in the future and steer away from always singing the melody. Today, I am completely exhausted, but it was so worth it.
Jule was a nightmare for Kevin on Saturday. It just happened to be a day that he was not happy at all. He ended up screaming for 9.5 hours with very minimal breaks in between. I took him to church with me on Sunday morning so that Kevin could have a break, and he was totally fine. I wish we could figure out what makes him scream on his bad days.
Kevin spent Sunday playing with Noly. Then, at 3, he took her to Chuck E. Cheese for Keith's birthday party. She had a great time! I stayed home because Jule was napping, and he ended up napping for 3 hours! He would wake up and scream intermittently but was quickly calmed right back to sleep. After the birthday party, I gave Noly a bath and spent some time playing with her. I really enjoy sitting down and playing with her and experiencing her budding imagination.
Since our weekend was so busy, we need to get groceries tonight...that's usually a weekend task. Other than that, I plan to go to bed as early as possible. The laundry is all caught up except for the nightly "Jule's spit-up" load. I think there are enough clean bottles that we can skip the dishwasher for tonight. Ohhhh...how I long for sleep!!!
The weekend services were amazing! We had a guest speaker, Adrian de Visser, from Sri Lanka. He has such a sweet spirit, and I enjoyed listening to what was in his heart to share. His son, Prashan, sang with us, and we had such an awesome time of praise and worship. Adrian shared how he and his wife, Opheila, had been told that they could not have children. So, he went to the ocean and wept. At the ocean, God told him to stop crying because he would have children. I think he said Prashan was born a year later, then they had a daughter. I asked Prashan to pray over Jule because it was so special to me that he was a miracle birth just as Jule was.
Ann was awesome this weekend at helping me find a part on "Let the Worshippers Arise." I'm hoping to learn more parts in the future and steer away from always singing the melody. Today, I am completely exhausted, but it was so worth it.
Jule was a nightmare for Kevin on Saturday. It just happened to be a day that he was not happy at all. He ended up screaming for 9.5 hours with very minimal breaks in between. I took him to church with me on Sunday morning so that Kevin could have a break, and he was totally fine. I wish we could figure out what makes him scream on his bad days.
Kevin spent Sunday playing with Noly. Then, at 3, he took her to Chuck E. Cheese for Keith's birthday party. She had a great time! I stayed home because Jule was napping, and he ended up napping for 3 hours! He would wake up and scream intermittently but was quickly calmed right back to sleep. After the birthday party, I gave Noly a bath and spent some time playing with her. I really enjoy sitting down and playing with her and experiencing her budding imagination.
Since our weekend was so busy, we need to get groceries tonight...that's usually a weekend task. Other than that, I plan to go to bed as early as possible. The laundry is all caught up except for the nightly "Jule's spit-up" load. I think there are enough clean bottles that we can skip the dishwasher for tonight. Ohhhh...how I long for sleep!!!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Yet Another Cold....
I can't believe I have another cold. This is the second one since Jule was born, and he's only 4 months old...in fact, we have all had 2 colds since his birth. Hey, at least I can't smell the stinky diapers! I have been smelling poopy diapers for Kevin all week, so now it's his turn to be my nose : )
I think I'm ready for tomorrow. I'm familiar enough with most of the songs, and the words will be up in case I forget. The only problem is that I'm terribly stuffed up, so I probably won't be able to sing all that well. I have to do as much laundry as possible tonight because I'll be away from home from 1-7 on Saturday, then from 7:30-1:30 on Sunday. Then, we are going to Keith's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese at 3 on Sunday. I'm glad I got a lot of cleaning done last weekend, so I can just keep up with the laundry and the dishes.
Kevin's parents are going to keep Noly tomorrow so that Kevin can just watch Jule. Hopefully, Jule will have a good day tomorrow! He is doing so much better than he was! He seems to keep more of his bottles down these days unless he's even slighly constipated. Then, it's fountains of spit-up everywhere. I sent prunes to Brenda's for him today, so hopefully he will have already gone when I get there to pick him up.
I was thinking about Jule's birth today. It still drives me crazy that I didn't get to hold him before he went to the NICU. Two days is too long to wait to hold your new baby....two minutes is even a bit too long! Even now, if Kevin is taking the kids to Brenda's on a certain morning, I have to kiss him or hold him for a minute before they leave....or sometimes just running my fingers through his little curly head of hair will do...how I love those curls!
Noly was crying in bed last night, so I went in to check on her. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "I miss you." I told her I missed her too, but it was time to go to sleep so she could wake up and play tomorrow. I gave her a hug, and she would barely let go of me. She has such a sweet, sensitive little heart. I just love her sweetness!
I think I'm ready for tomorrow. I'm familiar enough with most of the songs, and the words will be up in case I forget. The only problem is that I'm terribly stuffed up, so I probably won't be able to sing all that well. I have to do as much laundry as possible tonight because I'll be away from home from 1-7 on Saturday, then from 7:30-1:30 on Sunday. Then, we are going to Keith's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese at 3 on Sunday. I'm glad I got a lot of cleaning done last weekend, so I can just keep up with the laundry and the dishes.
Kevin's parents are going to keep Noly tomorrow so that Kevin can just watch Jule. Hopefully, Jule will have a good day tomorrow! He is doing so much better than he was! He seems to keep more of his bottles down these days unless he's even slighly constipated. Then, it's fountains of spit-up everywhere. I sent prunes to Brenda's for him today, so hopefully he will have already gone when I get there to pick him up.
I was thinking about Jule's birth today. It still drives me crazy that I didn't get to hold him before he went to the NICU. Two days is too long to wait to hold your new baby....two minutes is even a bit too long! Even now, if Kevin is taking the kids to Brenda's on a certain morning, I have to kiss him or hold him for a minute before they leave....or sometimes just running my fingers through his little curly head of hair will do...how I love those curls!
Noly was crying in bed last night, so I went in to check on her. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "I miss you." I told her I missed her too, but it was time to go to sleep so she could wake up and play tomorrow. I gave her a hug, and she would barely let go of me. She has such a sweet, sensitive little heart. I just love her sweetness!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Singing After A Year
It's hard to believe it's been a whole year since I sang at church! Today, I have been preparing by listening to the songs while I work. I'm sure there has been worship music pouring out into our common area, but nobody seems to mind. They all know I sing...I'm the only accountant I know with pink hair : ) My favorite for this weekend is "Jesus Paid It All" by David Crowder Band. I guess it's an old hymn, so I'm surprised I had not heard it before. Growing up in church, I can probably recite almost any hymn by memory. I love the way some of the new artists are revamping old hymns...very cool!
I went to the Outlets during my lunch because I was needing some jeans that fit. I was able to buy 2 pair of Lucky Brand jeans for $99 with some coupons and specials they were having. If I had bought them at regular price, it would have cost me $260, and I wouldn't have paid that much. I also found Noly an "I'm a big sister" t-shirt and found Jule a "Baby Brother" shirt at the Children's Place. They have pretty good prices.
Jule is talking away now! He cooed and jabbered all the way to Brenda's this morning. I kept putting my cell phone on record and holding it over the back seat, but he would stop every time. He was probably looking at the phone. I have several of my rings set to Noly giggling, crying or talking. I want to get some of him at this stage. He is saying, "goo" and "mamamama," not purposefully, I'm sure.
I'll finish with these words today..."Oh, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!"
I went to the Outlets during my lunch because I was needing some jeans that fit. I was able to buy 2 pair of Lucky Brand jeans for $99 with some coupons and specials they were having. If I had bought them at regular price, it would have cost me $260, and I wouldn't have paid that much. I also found Noly an "I'm a big sister" t-shirt and found Jule a "Baby Brother" shirt at the Children's Place. They have pretty good prices.
Jule is talking away now! He cooed and jabbered all the way to Brenda's this morning. I kept putting my cell phone on record and holding it over the back seat, but he would stop every time. He was probably looking at the phone. I have several of my rings set to Noly giggling, crying or talking. I want to get some of him at this stage. He is saying, "goo" and "mamamama," not purposefully, I'm sure.
I'll finish with these words today..."Oh, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!"
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Obama won....
Ugh! It wasn't what I wanted to hear when I turned on Fox News this morning, but it was what I was expecting to hear. I just had a feeling. I grieve because I believe that America is in for an even further moral decline. The economy and money, they are only temporary things...necessary, yes, but temporary. Morality...well, that's more of an eternal issue. And God, being holy, cannot bless immorality...it would be against His very nature. I am very sad and partially speechless, so I guess I don't have much to blog at this time.
Noly loved trick-or-treating. She was really tired after we finished rounds in our neighborhood and did not want to go to Mr. Jimmy & Miss Jane's. I asked her if it would be ok if we stopped at Dr. C's house too. Dr. C is her Pediatrician that she absolutely has a crush on. It is so adorable! She jumped at the chance. Unfortunately, he wasn't home and neither were Mr. Jimmy & Miss Jane. She got to eat some of her candy, but I ended up throwing most of it away when she went to bed.
Jule did wonderful until Sunday. He fussed off and on the whole day and evening on Sunday...not sure why. Last night, he had a blowout on both ends and ended up being extremely happy after that. He seems so happy once he's empty but not yet hungry. I love hearing him coo and love the way he follows me with his eyes no matter where I go. He adores Noly and spends a lot of his time at Brenda's watching her.
I hope the next four years are not too bad for my two little ones!
Noly loved trick-or-treating. She was really tired after we finished rounds in our neighborhood and did not want to go to Mr. Jimmy & Miss Jane's. I asked her if it would be ok if we stopped at Dr. C's house too. Dr. C is her Pediatrician that she absolutely has a crush on. It is so adorable! She jumped at the chance. Unfortunately, he wasn't home and neither were Mr. Jimmy & Miss Jane. She got to eat some of her candy, but I ended up throwing most of it away when she went to bed.
Jule did wonderful until Sunday. He fussed off and on the whole day and evening on Sunday...not sure why. Last night, he had a blowout on both ends and ended up being extremely happy after that. He seems so happy once he's empty but not yet hungry. I love hearing him coo and love the way he follows me with his eyes no matter where I go. He adores Noly and spends a lot of his time at Brenda's watching her.
I hope the next four years are not too bad for my two little ones!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Jeremiah 32:37-41
Just now, I was reading Jeremiah 32. Verses 37-41 say, "I will surely gather them from all the lands where I banish them in my furious anger and great wrath; I will bring them back to this place and let them live in safety. They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul."
A lot of things in this passage hit me. First of all, "let them live in safety" means so much to me personally because my ex-husband was so violent. I look at where I was in 1994-1998, and it is completely the opposite of where I am now. I don't live in fear anymore...I live in safety. I don't sit in my house huddled in a corner cowering...I walk about my house in confidence and assurance that I am safe and loved!
Also, I think it is so cool that it is God's gift to us to give us singleness of heart and action so that we may benefit. So, He's blessing us in order to bless us. It is reiterated in the fact that He will inspire us to fear Him so we won't turn away. Just how much our God loves us is so unsearchable and unfathomable! I can only compare it to the love I have for Noly & Jule. The ridiculous faces I make to get Jule to laugh and the tiny little toy I may buy for Noly because I know it will light up her eyes are just glimpses of the passionate love He has for me. I just glow thinking of Christmas and the glow that Noly will have on her face, and He must delight in my delight...He has to...He's my Daddy.
May I live in such a way that my children grow up knowing they are completely and undeniably loved by not only Kevin and I, but more so by their Creator, their Savior, their Ultimate Daddy.
A lot of things in this passage hit me. First of all, "let them live in safety" means so much to me personally because my ex-husband was so violent. I look at where I was in 1994-1998, and it is completely the opposite of where I am now. I don't live in fear anymore...I live in safety. I don't sit in my house huddled in a corner cowering...I walk about my house in confidence and assurance that I am safe and loved!
Also, I think it is so cool that it is God's gift to us to give us singleness of heart and action so that we may benefit. So, He's blessing us in order to bless us. It is reiterated in the fact that He will inspire us to fear Him so we won't turn away. Just how much our God loves us is so unsearchable and unfathomable! I can only compare it to the love I have for Noly & Jule. The ridiculous faces I make to get Jule to laugh and the tiny little toy I may buy for Noly because I know it will light up her eyes are just glimpses of the passionate love He has for me. I just glow thinking of Christmas and the glow that Noly will have on her face, and He must delight in my delight...He has to...He's my Daddy.
May I live in such a way that my children grow up knowing they are completely and undeniably loved by not only Kevin and I, but more so by their Creator, their Savior, their Ultimate Daddy.
The Things We Do For Our Children
For my lunch today, I ran around Charleston trying to get Noly a cat costume. She told me she wants to be a kitty last night. I had not asked her because I didn't think she would understand or care...boy, was I wrong! So, I got her ears and a tail at Party City. Then, I searched all over Target and finally bought a BOY's black sweatsuit. The shirt has a picture on it, so I'll just turn it inside out. So much for my relaxing lunch! She's so worth it, though.
First, we'll go to Whit's at 5:30 and have pizza, then we'll do pix and TOT! I wonder what Noly will do? This is only my 2nd Trick or Treat memory in my life. I remember my mom putting us in her shirts and painting our faces maybe as clowns? I think I was around 4. We went to my Grandma and Grandpa's. Beyond that, our church pretty much did not allow any celebration of Halloween. We haven't taken Noly yet just because she was so young. We planned to go last year, but she wasn't feeling well. She screamed when I put her in her Tinkerbell costume just for pictures!
Now, I just have to figure out how to confiscate most of the candy while she is sleeping tonight. I don't let her have candy very often because she gets wild!
First, we'll go to Whit's at 5:30 and have pizza, then we'll do pix and TOT! I wonder what Noly will do? This is only my 2nd Trick or Treat memory in my life. I remember my mom putting us in her shirts and painting our faces maybe as clowns? I think I was around 4. We went to my Grandma and Grandpa's. Beyond that, our church pretty much did not allow any celebration of Halloween. We haven't taken Noly yet just because she was so young. We planned to go last year, but she wasn't feeling well. She screamed when I put her in her Tinkerbell costume just for pictures!
Now, I just have to figure out how to confiscate most of the candy while she is sleeping tonight. I don't let her have candy very often because she gets wild!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Feeling Tired Today
Man, am I tired today! I fell asleep at a decent time last night, but I woke up suddenly around 10:15 thinking I heard Noly. She was asleep in her bed, so it must not have been her. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I took one Tylenol PM. I knew Kevin would be gone tonight, so I had to get some sleep! I'm not sure if the Tylenol PM is making me feel drowsy or what.
We are having a staff meeting in a few minutes, and my boss is providing wings...mmmm! I've successfully eaten in this whole week! I'm trying to limit how often I eat out because the cost really does add up. I realized that, if I spent only $5 a weekday on eating out, it would cost $1,300 a year! If I cut back on that, it will help free up money for other things like Gymboree clothes for the kids : )
I'm getting so excited about Christmas this year. Noly is now at an age where it will mean something to her. Of course, she can understand the presents and Santa and all that, but I think it will be harder for her to grasp the real meaning for a few years. Maybe we can make an eggless birthday cake for Jesus this year to help her begin to grasp that He came as a baby to save her. Jule will, of course, be oblivious to all things Christmas. I think he will like looking at the tree with all the lights and decorations. I looked at our tree box this morning as I was getting into the car. I want to put it up so badly, but I think it's too early. We'll wait for Thanksgiving break, and maybe we can put Jule in his exersaucer and all put it up together! No black Friday shopping for me. I hate the crowds!
We are having a staff meeting in a few minutes, and my boss is providing wings...mmmm! I've successfully eaten in this whole week! I'm trying to limit how often I eat out because the cost really does add up. I realized that, if I spent only $5 a weekday on eating out, it would cost $1,300 a year! If I cut back on that, it will help free up money for other things like Gymboree clothes for the kids : )
I'm getting so excited about Christmas this year. Noly is now at an age where it will mean something to her. Of course, she can understand the presents and Santa and all that, but I think it will be harder for her to grasp the real meaning for a few years. Maybe we can make an eggless birthday cake for Jesus this year to help her begin to grasp that He came as a baby to save her. Jule will, of course, be oblivious to all things Christmas. I think he will like looking at the tree with all the lights and decorations. I looked at our tree box this morning as I was getting into the car. I want to put it up so badly, but I think it's too early. We'll wait for Thanksgiving break, and maybe we can put Jule in his exersaucer and all put it up together! No black Friday shopping for me. I hate the crowds!
31 Things - Sent to my by Elissa
1. Where is your cell phone? clipped onto my pocket
2. Where is your significant other? traveling to Myrtle Beach
3. Your hair color? dark brown and pink
4. Your mother? Vickie
5. Your father? Ron
6. Your favorite thing? Lucky Brand Jeans
7. Your dream last night? Did not have one
8. Your dream/goal? My goal is to make it through Jule's reflux in one piece!
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? going to concerts
11. Your fear? that it will be along time before Jule is a consistently happy baby
12. Where do you want to be in six years? same workplace but more challenging job here
13. Where were you last night? at home
14. What you’re not? a stqay-at-home mom
15. One of your wish list items? tile in all the bathrooms
16. Where you grew up? Middlebury
17. The last thing you did? Logged my journal entries in Excel
18. What are you wearing?Brown cords and a blue and brown striped shirt
19. Your TV? is always on Disney for the kids
20. Your pet? gave him to in-laws when Noly was 6 months old
21. Your computer? old at home, Dell at work
22. Your mood? fine
23. Missing someone? my babies & my family in IN
24. Your car? Toyota Matrix
25. Something you’re not wearing? my watch (needs a new battery)
26. Favorite store? Either Lucky Brand or Gymboree...luckily both are at the outlets
27. Your summer? working
28. Love someone? Sure, too many to list
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? when Jule laughed last night
31. Last time you cried? I'm sure it was during one of Jule's crying episodes
Ok, Danette, your turn (once your boys are better)
2. Where is your significant other? traveling to Myrtle Beach
3. Your hair color? dark brown and pink
4. Your mother? Vickie
5. Your father? Ron
6. Your favorite thing? Lucky Brand Jeans
7. Your dream last night? Did not have one
8. Your dream/goal? My goal is to make it through Jule's reflux in one piece!
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? going to concerts
11. Your fear? that it will be along time before Jule is a consistently happy baby
12. Where do you want to be in six years? same workplace but more challenging job here
13. Where were you last night? at home
14. What you’re not? a stqay-at-home mom
15. One of your wish list items? tile in all the bathrooms
16. Where you grew up? Middlebury
17. The last thing you did? Logged my journal entries in Excel
18. What are you wearing?Brown cords and a blue and brown striped shirt
19. Your TV? is always on Disney for the kids
20. Your pet? gave him to in-laws when Noly was 6 months old
21. Your computer? old at home, Dell at work
22. Your mood? fine
23. Missing someone? my babies & my family in IN
24. Your car? Toyota Matrix
25. Something you’re not wearing? my watch (needs a new battery)
26. Favorite store? Either Lucky Brand or Gymboree...luckily both are at the outlets
27. Your summer? working
28. Love someone? Sure, too many to list
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? when Jule laughed last night
31. Last time you cried? I'm sure it was during one of Jule's crying episodes
Ok, Danette, your turn (once your boys are better)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tax Research Resurfacing
Today I realized that I only have 2 more days to make any changes I want to my benefits. I checked into everything, and I wondered if I should start a Dependent Care Account for our daycare expenses. Brenda costs about $14,000 a year, but it is well-worth it to have our kids in a safe place with someone who loves them. The DCA would take money for child care expenses pre-tax. I had to calculate our 1040 hypothetically with and without the spending account, and we came out ahead without it. For some reason, your Dependent Care credit is HUGELY reduced if you use the DCA, and it's not reduced enough to lower your AGI by enough to save you money. So, there is my day in a nutshell. I'm glad I researched it before just signing up blindly!
Jule was a gem last night, smiling and laughing often. It was nice to see him comfortable and happy. I attempted to brush his hair straight, but there is no straightening this boy's curls...I love it! I hope he keeps them! Noly made him laugh for the second time last night. She is so funny to watch with him, and she is getting to be such a little mother. She has completely lost interest in potty training and isn't even waking up dry anymore. Oh well, I don't really care right now. She'll train when the time is right.
I can't wait for Christmas with these two! It is going to be a hoot!
Jule was a gem last night, smiling and laughing often. It was nice to see him comfortable and happy. I attempted to brush his hair straight, but there is no straightening this boy's curls...I love it! I hope he keeps them! Noly made him laugh for the second time last night. She is so funny to watch with him, and she is getting to be such a little mother. She has completely lost interest in potty training and isn't even waking up dry anymore. Oh well, I don't really care right now. She'll train when the time is right.
I can't wait for Christmas with these two! It is going to be a hoot!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Long Weekend
It was a looooong weekend, but not because of the number of days. Friday night, Jule had a rough evening and would not stay asleep until late. So, I went to the bedroom to watch a movie once he was finally down, and there was water dripping into our room. The paint was peeling off the wall above the window like it was wallpaper. We had at least two leaks in our 8-year-old roof, and one of the windows appeared to be leaking as well. It was pouring down rain, so I knew it was only going to continue through the night.
We also found out that Jule's swing broke. That is usually what we use to get him settled when he wakes up continually in his crib at night. I checked the weight limit because he is so big, and it's 25 lbs, so it's not his weight since he's around 16. We had a spare at the office from when Noly was a baby, so Kevin is going to set that up this morning.
Noly stayed at Diz and Sara's Friday night and kept saying she missed Kevin and I. It is obvious that she is having a hard time dealing with Jule lately. She is just too young to be able to process what is going on. Heck, I'm almost 34 and can't process it. She keeps telling me she misses me whenever I have been away from her. Last night, she was WAY too cute. She was watching a Pooh movie where the little bird was going to fly away. Rabbit was very sad about this, and Noly all of a sudden burst into tears and ran over to me. She said, "I miss you, Mommy. I miss you; I love you." I could tell she was feeling sad because Rabbit was sad but did not know how to express it. I held her close and comforted her, then she became ok as Rabbit became ok. So, yes, she is my replica. I used to do the same thing when I was her age. I used to wail when Puff the Magic Dragon would "sadly slip into his cave." Lately, when Noly cries, Jule will stick his bottom lip out and start to cry too. Two babies crying at once....oh my!
We also found out that Jule's swing broke. That is usually what we use to get him settled when he wakes up continually in his crib at night. I checked the weight limit because he is so big, and it's 25 lbs, so it's not his weight since he's around 16. We had a spare at the office from when Noly was a baby, so Kevin is going to set that up this morning.
Noly stayed at Diz and Sara's Friday night and kept saying she missed Kevin and I. It is obvious that she is having a hard time dealing with Jule lately. She is just too young to be able to process what is going on. Heck, I'm almost 34 and can't process it. She keeps telling me she misses me whenever I have been away from her. Last night, she was WAY too cute. She was watching a Pooh movie where the little bird was going to fly away. Rabbit was very sad about this, and Noly all of a sudden burst into tears and ran over to me. She said, "I miss you, Mommy. I miss you; I love you." I could tell she was feeling sad because Rabbit was sad but did not know how to express it. I held her close and comforted her, then she became ok as Rabbit became ok. So, yes, she is my replica. I used to do the same thing when I was her age. I used to wail when Puff the Magic Dragon would "sadly slip into his cave." Lately, when Noly cries, Jule will stick his bottom lip out and start to cry too. Two babies crying at once....oh my!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Bearing Each Other's Burdens
So, Elissa came across Galatians 6:2 yesterday, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." I feel like that's what she did for us last night. She came over and watched both of our kids, and we went out to eat alone. It was so quiet...so peaceful. Nobody was screaming, and our hands were free. Little things like that help me feel human again.
I was thinking about James 2 yesterday. Verses 14-17 say, "What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." I was thinking about how much prayers mean to us right now, but even more so, those that are coming over to physically help make a HUGE difference in our sanity. Once we get through this and I'm more able, I want to put more actions behind my prayers. I can pray for someone who has lost everything in a fire, but it would be even better for me to give them the things they need that I am capable of providing. I'm going to look for ways right now that I can help people even if it is in a limited capacity.
Turns out that SSRI's, which include Lexapro, are dangerous when taken with the amount of migraine meds I take. So, I am just taking anti-anxiety meds as needed. On better days, I can skip it, but it is there for the bad days. I am LOVING "New Day" by Robbie Seay Band, and it will also help carry me through the bad days. Cindy emailed me and is planning to come by next Thursday after work, and Elissa is open to helping again, so maybe we can make it through this difficult thing called reflux.
I was thinking about James 2 yesterday. Verses 14-17 say, "What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." I was thinking about how much prayers mean to us right now, but even more so, those that are coming over to physically help make a HUGE difference in our sanity. Once we get through this and I'm more able, I want to put more actions behind my prayers. I can pray for someone who has lost everything in a fire, but it would be even better for me to give them the things they need that I am capable of providing. I'm going to look for ways right now that I can help people even if it is in a limited capacity.
Turns out that SSRI's, which include Lexapro, are dangerous when taken with the amount of migraine meds I take. So, I am just taking anti-anxiety meds as needed. On better days, I can skip it, but it is there for the bad days. I am LOVING "New Day" by Robbie Seay Band, and it will also help carry me through the bad days. Cindy emailed me and is planning to come by next Thursday after work, and Elissa is open to helping again, so maybe we can make it through this difficult thing called reflux.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Went to OB's Office
Well, my OB was out, but I really liked the OB that I talked to. I explained everything to her, and she said I'm having a normal reaction to a stressful life event. Because we are doing all we can for Jule and don't know how long this may last, I am going to take Lexapro to help my stress level. I took it for 6 months when I was going through numerous miscarriages and stopped when I got pregnant with Noly. I remember it taking the edge off of my depression, but this time I'm not depressed. I think it is supposed to help bring your anxiety level down. I do remember that it made me sick for the first week, so they prescribed me Zofran too to help with the nausea. I really hope this helps me not feel like a basket case on the hard evenings.
Kevin should be home around 4, so I at least have another set of hands after work, but it seriously takes 2 adults to care for Jule when he is having a crying session. Maybe the little guy will be happy and will feel like jabbering rather than crying? At least I won't be alone. Elissa is coming over tomorrow night, and I know that will help immensely too. I may send out an email to people that I would trust to keep him overnight to see if anyone could give me just a one night break. To even watch a whole movie sounds soooo awesome. I've tried the past two weekends, but I'm just too worn out from the day with him. My sweet, Jule, I hope you feel better quickly.
Kevin should be home around 4, so I at least have another set of hands after work, but it seriously takes 2 adults to care for Jule when he is having a crying session. Maybe the little guy will be happy and will feel like jabbering rather than crying? At least I won't be alone. Elissa is coming over tomorrow night, and I know that will help immensely too. I may send out an email to people that I would trust to keep him overnight to see if anyone could give me just a one night break. To even watch a whole movie sounds soooo awesome. I've tried the past two weekends, but I'm just too worn out from the day with him. My sweet, Jule, I hope you feel better quickly.
I Really Need Help with Jule
I'm sitting in my office with the door closed weeping. Jule is too hard, and it just keeps going and going. I don't want to hurt him or myself, but I really don't want to leave work and face what may happen once we get home. Will he cry 4 hours, 6 hours, not much at all? Who knows...there's no way to predict it.
Cindy came over last night and was a HUGE help to me. I felt like I could keep my head above water because she held and fed him for me. I was able to focus on Noly and eating dinner. I called the nurse, and they called me in some anti-anxiety meds, but I couldn't get to them because the kids needed to go to bed. I'm going to call my OB to get some meds from them, but overall, I will still need help. Kevin will be back in tonight, so it could be a smooth evening...I really hope so.
If anyone can come help, any evening would be so, so much appreciated!
Cindy came over last night and was a HUGE help to me. I felt like I could keep my head above water because she held and fed him for me. I was able to focus on Noly and eating dinner. I called the nurse, and they called me in some anti-anxiety meds, but I couldn't get to them because the kids needed to go to bed. I'm going to call my OB to get some meds from them, but overall, I will still need help. Kevin will be back in tonight, so it could be a smooth evening...I really hope so.
If anyone can come help, any evening would be so, so much appreciated!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Samson
I'm sure I have heard the story of Samson many times over the years, but I decided to read it again after having a discussion about Samson with Noly & Jule's Pediatrician. There is a certain intrigue in me for any woman in the Bible who had a child after being barren (as the Bible puts it). I knew that Sara, Rebecca, Rachel and Elisabeth had all been barren, but I hadn't realized that Samson's mom was too. These women, like many women today, understood what I went through in my years of infertility. They understood feeling hopeless and desperate, and they also understood what it was like to have a child after years of infertility...the excitement and joy, the fulfillment of a promise.
As I was reading about Samson, I was thinking about how an angel came to Samson's mother and told her to set him apart for God. She was not to cut his hair or drink wine while she was pregnant. I started thinking about how I can set my children apart for God. Of course, it is always my desire to teach them to walk with Him, but how can I set them apart for Him? Today is not like it was thousands of years ago. Noly has already had tons of hair trimmings and I have already had to cut some major knots out of the back of Jule's thick head of curls. So, how do I set them apart? I don't think I really have an answer except to do the best I can to teach them both about Who God is and how much He loves them, to be sensitive to opportunities to teach them about His Word, and to teach them to live their lives in a way that is pleasing to Him.
On a particularly rough evening with Jule, I was alone with the kids and nearing a breakdown. Out of the blue, Noly started singing while she was eating...."Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so." It melted me to a point that I was almost weeping, and I'm not a person who cries much. God used my little girl to remind me that He loved me and cared about me. I pray that, as she grows, she continues to know the love of a Savior.
As I was reading about Samson, I was thinking about how an angel came to Samson's mother and told her to set him apart for God. She was not to cut his hair or drink wine while she was pregnant. I started thinking about how I can set my children apart for God. Of course, it is always my desire to teach them to walk with Him, but how can I set them apart for Him? Today is not like it was thousands of years ago. Noly has already had tons of hair trimmings and I have already had to cut some major knots out of the back of Jule's thick head of curls. So, how do I set them apart? I don't think I really have an answer except to do the best I can to teach them both about Who God is and how much He loves them, to be sensitive to opportunities to teach them about His Word, and to teach them to live their lives in a way that is pleasing to Him.
On a particularly rough evening with Jule, I was alone with the kids and nearing a breakdown. Out of the blue, Noly started singing while she was eating...."Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so." It melted me to a point that I was almost weeping, and I'm not a person who cries much. God used my little girl to remind me that He loved me and cared about me. I pray that, as she grows, she continues to know the love of a Savior.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Why Rainy Days and Mondays Don't Always Get Me Down
It's Monday again. Workdays are somewhat easier for me right now because I can eat my meals with two hands and I don't have to try to comfort a screaming baby that won't be comforted. I know that Jule will get better in time, but it's easier to be at work right now. He seems to scream for hours every few days. I'm really not sure what triggers it, and we've found nothing that works to calm him every time. He has days that are better...where he is just a normal baby, and those days are awesome! I can sit on the floor and sit his back up against me and play with Noly. All three of us are happy then! I'm going to send an email to the church asking for help with him...if someone could just come hold him for a couple of hours, it would help our sanity tremendously!
Noly has learned to sing "Jesus Loves Me," and it is SO cute! She sings that and her prayer all the time. I hear, "God, our Father..." all the time without any of the rest of the song. She just repeats that line a lot : )
I finally got tired of the toy takeover in our master bathroom and moved the kids' things into their bathroom. It's smaller, but I should have plenty of room to bathe her in the tub and him in his baby bath at the same time. Noly wasn't really thrilled with her loss of the garden tub, but she will adjust. Jule seemed to like the bright colors in the Pooh bathroom.
I just don't have any deep thoughts lately...they've been sucked right out of me. I think...hmmm...when can I eat and when can I sleep. Everything in between is getting things done like the laundry and cleaning the bottles. Today, I have to go get Noly a winter coat since it's really cold at night all of a sudden. This is why I love rainy days...you put on sweats and stay inside and lounge!
Noly has learned to sing "Jesus Loves Me," and it is SO cute! She sings that and her prayer all the time. I hear, "God, our Father..." all the time without any of the rest of the song. She just repeats that line a lot : )
I finally got tired of the toy takeover in our master bathroom and moved the kids' things into their bathroom. It's smaller, but I should have plenty of room to bathe her in the tub and him in his baby bath at the same time. Noly wasn't really thrilled with her loss of the garden tub, but she will adjust. Jule seemed to like the bright colors in the Pooh bathroom.
I just don't have any deep thoughts lately...they've been sucked right out of me. I think...hmmm...when can I eat and when can I sleep. Everything in between is getting things done like the laundry and cleaning the bottles. Today, I have to go get Noly a winter coat since it's really cold at night all of a sudden. This is why I love rainy days...you put on sweats and stay inside and lounge!
I've been Tagged...Answers for Danette
8 things I did yesterday:
1. Washed, folded and put away 6 loads of laundry
2. Cleaned the bathrooms
3. Played with Noly
4. Rocked Jule
5. Fed Jule
6. Cleaned 2 poopy diapers from 2 different kids
7. Made Sloppy Joes
8. Taught Noly how to Zerbert
8 favorite places to eat:
1. Coldstone Creamery
2. Chick Fil A
3. Chili's
4. Jersey Mike's
5. Olive Garden
6. Essenhaus
7. Grandma's House
8. Home
8 favorite TV shows:
1. Lost
2. Two and a Half Men
3. New Adventures of Old Christine
4. Don't have time for any more TV
8 things I am looking forward to:
1. Jule feeling better
2. Going home for Christmas
3. Possibly going to Disney World for Thanksgiving
4. Noly being potty trained
5. Having time to sing at church again
6. Putting up the Christmas tree with Noly
7. Hearing Jule belly laugh
8. Having a baby that does not cry all the time
8 things on my wish list:
1. Totally wish I was closer to family
2. That 4 Him would get back together : (
3. That Jule would feel better
4. That we get to go to Disney for Thanksgiving
5. That Noly will be easy to potty train
6. That I was not allergic to eggs
7. That Jule is happy enough for Kevin to get his vasectomy soon
8. That the house would clean itself
Tagging:
Trisha Fipps
Elissa Pulaski
1. Washed, folded and put away 6 loads of laundry
2. Cleaned the bathrooms
3. Played with Noly
4. Rocked Jule
5. Fed Jule
6. Cleaned 2 poopy diapers from 2 different kids
7. Made Sloppy Joes
8. Taught Noly how to Zerbert
8 favorite places to eat:
1. Coldstone Creamery
2. Chick Fil A
3. Chili's
4. Jersey Mike's
5. Olive Garden
6. Essenhaus
7. Grandma's House
8. Home
8 favorite TV shows:
1. Lost
2. Two and a Half Men
3. New Adventures of Old Christine
4. Don't have time for any more TV
8 things I am looking forward to:
1. Jule feeling better
2. Going home for Christmas
3. Possibly going to Disney World for Thanksgiving
4. Noly being potty trained
5. Having time to sing at church again
6. Putting up the Christmas tree with Noly
7. Hearing Jule belly laugh
8. Having a baby that does not cry all the time
8 things on my wish list:
1. Totally wish I was closer to family
2. That 4 Him would get back together : (
3. That Jule would feel better
4. That we get to go to Disney for Thanksgiving
5. That Noly will be easy to potty train
6. That I was not allergic to eggs
7. That Jule is happy enough for Kevin to get his vasectomy soon
8. That the house would clean itself
Tagging:
Trisha Fipps
Elissa Pulaski
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A Prayer and a Nursery Rhyme
One thing I fogot to blog about that I do not want to forget is Noly's prayer. She learned to sing, "God our Father" at preschool. She sings...."God our Father, God our Father...Once again, Once again...yes Sir, yes Sir, three bags full....All the men, All the men." Guess she's getting it confused with "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep."
Drowning
I feel like I'm drowning. There is way too much going on right now. We went to Noly's 3-Year Check-up yesterday. I told Dr. C that I had left a message with his nurses that we didn't have a Specialist appointment yet. He said he never got it and said we would have an answer before we left there. He's such an awesome Pediatrician! He prayed for Jule as Noly ran around the room swinging his stethoscope. Noly checked out fine...31.6 lbs, 36 inches tall. I have no clue what percentile she's in because I have too much on my mind to ask.
We left the appointment, and when we got to the car, it wouldn't start! Ugh...Kevin was out of town. This is a 2005 Toyota with 35,000 miles on it. It should start! I gave it some gas, and it finally started. Then, I had to get a prescription filled for Miralax for both kids since they are both constipated. Also, Dr. C said to start Jule on solids because he exceeds the weight they usually suggest solids for AND he is guzzling 8 ounces and is still hungry.
I fed him peas last night, and he liked them. He didn't make any funny faces or anything, just ate happily. This morning, he spit out the rice cereal and cried...so he doesn't like rice cereal : ) I dropped them off at Brenda's and was on my way to work when the phone rang. I remembered to put Jule's formula in the bag, but I forgot the bottles.
It feels like I'm underwater. I'm trying to work full-time, take care of and spend fun time with both of my kids, feed the kids, get them bathed and to bed, walk and rock Jule when he's fussy, call Toyota and take my car to get looked at, drive to Savannah for Jule's appointment, go to my in-laws' for a party for Noly this weekend, and fit my own meals and sleeping in there somewhere. It's not like I keep the house immaculate, though I wish I could. I put my energy into just keeping up with laundry and the dishwasher. We have to have clean burp cloths, clothes and bottles. Sometimes, the laundry doesn't even get folded for days. We just pull clean things out straight from the basket.
It would be nice if my family lived closer and could take the kids even for a day. That would help so much. I'm going to a music meeting at church Saturday morning and will put the kids in the nursery, so I will have 2 hours to not worry about anything else. Maybe this Specialist can help Jule and give me more time to do the things other than comforting him. He HAS done better since Saturday, but he's still not right. He's not acting like a completely normal baby, but closer to one.
Maybe I will just sleep all the way to Savannah and back while Kevin drives?
We left the appointment, and when we got to the car, it wouldn't start! Ugh...Kevin was out of town. This is a 2005 Toyota with 35,000 miles on it. It should start! I gave it some gas, and it finally started. Then, I had to get a prescription filled for Miralax for both kids since they are both constipated. Also, Dr. C said to start Jule on solids because he exceeds the weight they usually suggest solids for AND he is guzzling 8 ounces and is still hungry.
I fed him peas last night, and he liked them. He didn't make any funny faces or anything, just ate happily. This morning, he spit out the rice cereal and cried...so he doesn't like rice cereal : ) I dropped them off at Brenda's and was on my way to work when the phone rang. I remembered to put Jule's formula in the bag, but I forgot the bottles.
It feels like I'm underwater. I'm trying to work full-time, take care of and spend fun time with both of my kids, feed the kids, get them bathed and to bed, walk and rock Jule when he's fussy, call Toyota and take my car to get looked at, drive to Savannah for Jule's appointment, go to my in-laws' for a party for Noly this weekend, and fit my own meals and sleeping in there somewhere. It's not like I keep the house immaculate, though I wish I could. I put my energy into just keeping up with laundry and the dishwasher. We have to have clean burp cloths, clothes and bottles. Sometimes, the laundry doesn't even get folded for days. We just pull clean things out straight from the basket.
It would be nice if my family lived closer and could take the kids even for a day. That would help so much. I'm going to a music meeting at church Saturday morning and will put the kids in the nursery, so I will have 2 hours to not worry about anything else. Maybe this Specialist can help Jule and give me more time to do the things other than comforting him. He HAS done better since Saturday, but he's still not right. He's not acting like a completely normal baby, but closer to one.
Maybe I will just sleep all the way to Savannah and back while Kevin drives?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Noly's First Carnival
Today, Noly's preschool had a Carnival. I took my lunch break early and went to be with her. They had a hayride...quite bumpy I must say...a picture, a pinata and some booths. I was surprised that she was afraid of the pinata. It was a purple bat, and she wouldn't go near it until the teacher finally ripped it open and let the candy fall to the ground. Then, she very carefully picked up one piece at a time and put it in her bag...not the mad rush I expected. We had a nice time, and she gladly stayed behind to eat her candy. I was afraid she would want to leave with me.
Jule had a decent evening last night. Miriam and Elizabeth came over and brought Noly a gift, and Jule smiled over and over at Elizabeth. It was adorable! He ended up falling asleep with his 8:00 bottle and slept until 1:30 AM. Then, he woke up crying and chugged a whole 8 ounces. What am I going to feed this baby? He eats SO much. I've noticed in the past few days that not as much is coming up also. I'm really hoping he is outgrowing whatever has been wrong, but I don't really know what is wrong. We see the Pediatrician today for Noly's 3-year checkup, and I'll ask him where we stand in terms of a Specialist appointment.
I am completely exhausted from being awake from 1:30-3am. Kevin fed Jule, but he was crying a lot, so I couldn't sleep. Then, the alarm went off at 5:30...way too early. Kevin will be out of town tonight, so I need to be awake enough this evening to get the two kids through baths, etc. I think he's only staying out one night, and that will help.
Jule had a decent evening last night. Miriam and Elizabeth came over and brought Noly a gift, and Jule smiled over and over at Elizabeth. It was adorable! He ended up falling asleep with his 8:00 bottle and slept until 1:30 AM. Then, he woke up crying and chugged a whole 8 ounces. What am I going to feed this baby? He eats SO much. I've noticed in the past few days that not as much is coming up also. I'm really hoping he is outgrowing whatever has been wrong, but I don't really know what is wrong. We see the Pediatrician today for Noly's 3-year checkup, and I'll ask him where we stand in terms of a Specialist appointment.
I am completely exhausted from being awake from 1:30-3am. Kevin fed Jule, but he was crying a lot, so I couldn't sleep. Then, the alarm went off at 5:30...way too early. Kevin will be out of town tonight, so I need to be awake enough this evening to get the two kids through baths, etc. I think he's only staying out one night, and that will help.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Let Us Not Grow Weary while Doing Good
It's the title of a Children's song by Steve Green. "Let us not grow weary while doing good. In due season, we shall reap." It's taken directly from Galatians 6:9. As I left work yesterday, I was dreading going home. Kevin's parents had Noly, so that meant I only had to take care of Jule...but that meant I had to take care of Jule...alone. He's just so difficult. It seems like no matter what we try, he is not happy for longer than a few minutes. That Scripture came to mind, and it reminded me that, in time, he will get better. He won't cry excessively forever. Either we will get to a specialist for help, or he will grow out of it. It's just SO hard to hold on to that fact sometimes.
What helps is seeing his precious smiles and hearing his sweet coos. I love seeing him happy and watching him learn new things. He is trying desparately to laugh and is sooo close to doing it. He is also trying to roll over from his tummy to his back, and I see hints that he is trying to roll from his back to his tummy too. In the past couple of days, he has found his hands. He mostly tries to suck on the back of his hand, but he also rubs his eyes when he is tired...so cute! He is such a cuddly baby, and I hope he stays that way for a long time!
Noly's 3rd Birthday is today! We both woke her up and quietly told her Happy Birthday. We took her downstairs and gave her a present and sang to her. She wanted to stay home with us and did not want to go to Brenda's, but I told her she was having a Birthday party there today. I told her all about her cupcakes, and she seemed fine with going then. She was so cute when she carried her cupcakes into Brenda's and wanted to eat them for breakfast! Yuck! She definitely descended from my mom.
I think Kevin will be home tonight. He's trying his best to stay home more often until Jule gets better. Brenda's birthday is tomorrow, so I'll probably take Noly to the store to buy Brenda some flowers from the kids. Other than that, I hope to get to bed early so I can wake up renewed tomorrow morning. Oh, Jule drank 8 oz last night...he's such a big boy!
What helps is seeing his precious smiles and hearing his sweet coos. I love seeing him happy and watching him learn new things. He is trying desparately to laugh and is sooo close to doing it. He is also trying to roll over from his tummy to his back, and I see hints that he is trying to roll from his back to his tummy too. In the past couple of days, he has found his hands. He mostly tries to suck on the back of his hand, but he also rubs his eyes when he is tired...so cute! He is such a cuddly baby, and I hope he stays that way for a long time!
Noly's 3rd Birthday is today! We both woke her up and quietly told her Happy Birthday. We took her downstairs and gave her a present and sang to her. She wanted to stay home with us and did not want to go to Brenda's, but I told her she was having a Birthday party there today. I told her all about her cupcakes, and she seemed fine with going then. She was so cute when she carried her cupcakes into Brenda's and wanted to eat them for breakfast! Yuck! She definitely descended from my mom.
I think Kevin will be home tonight. He's trying his best to stay home more often until Jule gets better. Brenda's birthday is tomorrow, so I'll probably take Noly to the store to buy Brenda some flowers from the kids. Other than that, I hope to get to bed early so I can wake up renewed tomorrow morning. Oh, Jule drank 8 oz last night...he's such a big boy!
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Hearts & Flowers Keep Disappearing!
My very ambitious daughter keeps waking up dry! The only problem is, she is still peeing in her pull-ups shortly after waking up even though we have her sit on the potty right away. I tell her that the pee-pee makes the hearts and flowers disappear, and she looks at me with a look of deep understanding and says, "Oh, sure." I think that she is starting to be able to hold it when she's sleeping, which is a very promising sign. She just doesn't understand that she has to tell me BEFORE she goes. I'm sure she'll catch on soon.
Jule, sweet Jule, our ever-fussy baby. He is still having major problems with fussiness, screaming, and spitting up. He'll be 14 weeks tomorrow, and this all started at 4 weeks. I must admit that I am beyond exhaustion. I never dreamed it would continue past the 12 weeks mark because that's when Noly's colic ended...but this isn't colic. We have not heard from the doctor and do not have a Specialist appointment until December 2 at this point. Noly has her 3-year check-up on Wednesday, so I'm going to talk to the doctor then if I don't hear from him before that. We're very willing to drive to Savannah if it means they can give Jule (and us) some relief.
We spend our evenings taking turns holding him. It's not that he always stops crying when we hold him...it just makes him a tiny bit happier, and if he gets too worked up, he ends up spitting up and refluxing more. It's a vicious cycle. He slept 12.5 hours Saturday night, and it was so nice to get up Sunday morning before he woke up and do some very quick housework. I wish we could take away his pain. I wish we could help him keep his bottles down, but nothing we try seems to make a HUGE difference except for keeping him from lying on his back. Someone told me how to double-sheet his crib, and that has helped immensely. It only takes seconds to get him a fresh sheet when he is having a particularly rough evening...sweet Baby.
We had Noly's 3rd Birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday. The Pulaskis, Bradburns and Williams came. It was a load of fun for Noly, but she became overwhelmed when we gathered around her to sing Happy Birthday. She is more outgoing than she used to be but still does not like that much attention. I love how she is not a bit afraid of Chuck E. or anybody dressed up as a character for that matter. She just wants to kiss and hug them until they have to pull her off : ) She got some really cool presents and loved them all! She got some little playsets with little pieces, so I helped her organize the different sets in different bags so she wouldn't lose the tiny pieces. Kevin commented that our Type A child did not need any further organization skills (what can I say, she's her mother's child).
In all, it was a nice weekend. I pray that this week brings us word of a GI Specialist appointment.
Jule, sweet Jule, our ever-fussy baby. He is still having major problems with fussiness, screaming, and spitting up. He'll be 14 weeks tomorrow, and this all started at 4 weeks. I must admit that I am beyond exhaustion. I never dreamed it would continue past the 12 weeks mark because that's when Noly's colic ended...but this isn't colic. We have not heard from the doctor and do not have a Specialist appointment until December 2 at this point. Noly has her 3-year check-up on Wednesday, so I'm going to talk to the doctor then if I don't hear from him before that. We're very willing to drive to Savannah if it means they can give Jule (and us) some relief.
We spend our evenings taking turns holding him. It's not that he always stops crying when we hold him...it just makes him a tiny bit happier, and if he gets too worked up, he ends up spitting up and refluxing more. It's a vicious cycle. He slept 12.5 hours Saturday night, and it was so nice to get up Sunday morning before he woke up and do some very quick housework. I wish we could take away his pain. I wish we could help him keep his bottles down, but nothing we try seems to make a HUGE difference except for keeping him from lying on his back. Someone told me how to double-sheet his crib, and that has helped immensely. It only takes seconds to get him a fresh sheet when he is having a particularly rough evening...sweet Baby.
We had Noly's 3rd Birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday. The Pulaskis, Bradburns and Williams came. It was a load of fun for Noly, but she became overwhelmed when we gathered around her to sing Happy Birthday. She is more outgoing than she used to be but still does not like that much attention. I love how she is not a bit afraid of Chuck E. or anybody dressed up as a character for that matter. She just wants to kiss and hug them until they have to pull her off : ) She got some really cool presents and loved them all! She got some little playsets with little pieces, so I helped her organize the different sets in different bags so she wouldn't lose the tiny pieces. Kevin commented that our Type A child did not need any further organization skills (what can I say, she's her mother's child).
In all, it was a nice weekend. I pray that this week brings us word of a GI Specialist appointment.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Economic Crisis
Well, it's finally hitting home. I was innocently sitting in my office when I got the dreaded email. I have a job at the State, a nice cushy job, and there could be danger in the future. The State has already made budget cuts. It's possible there could be 14 million more in budget cuts in the near future. The University is going to make cutbacks that don't involve employees, and we hope it doesn't get to the point that employees start getting laid off. Ugh!
Financially, we need me to have my job. Above all, we need this insurance. My migraine meds alone are $250/month without insurance, and I HAVE to have that prescription filled every month. And Jule....what if he needs surgery? He already needs to see a Specialist and needs testing. So many thoughts are running through my head, but God is bringing me back. When I was pregnant with Jule and scared of losing him, God spoke Psalm 46:10 to my heart..."Be still, and know that I am God..." Ok, be still. He's more than taken care of my every need to this point in my life; He wouldn't stop now.
Psalm 46
"1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
This entire Psalm speaks of God's sovereignty...His completely capable power and control. I may need to read this a lot in the upcoming weeks.
Financially, we need me to have my job. Above all, we need this insurance. My migraine meds alone are $250/month without insurance, and I HAVE to have that prescription filled every month. And Jule....what if he needs surgery? He already needs to see a Specialist and needs testing. So many thoughts are running through my head, but God is bringing me back. When I was pregnant with Jule and scared of losing him, God spoke Psalm 46:10 to my heart..."Be still, and know that I am God..." Ok, be still. He's more than taken care of my every need to this point in my life; He wouldn't stop now.
Psalm 46
"1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
This entire Psalm speaks of God's sovereignty...His completely capable power and control. I may need to read this a lot in the upcoming weeks.
A Wedding and a Funeral
Last night, we went to a friend's wedding. It was one of Kevin's long-time friends, so that meant we were going to see a group of people that we had not seen in awhile. When I first moved here, all of Kevin's friends became my circle of friends, but as I was here longer, I got to know more people through College and Church. The wedding was nice, and my mind was racing back into the not-so-distant past. I thought about how much I have changed since I last saw our friends. In a sense, I felt like there was a funeral for the person I used to be.
We used to go camping and dirt-biking/4 wheeling in the nearby National Forest together. It was a fun, care-free time! The dare-devil that I am, I remember the dirt on a trail pulling me right into a tree when I was riding my dirtbike. No harm done...at least to me, maybe a small dent in my bike. I remember dirt-biking in the morning, then going to my Accounting classes covered in dirt and smelling like gas and oil...not your typical Accounting student.
Part of me misses those days, but the other part of me LOVES where I am now. I didn't have Noly or Jule back then. I also didn't know many of my friends that are so dear to me now. That part of me still exists, but I think it will have to be put on hold until my kids get older. They are my priority now, and it thrills me just as much to see them accomplish each milestone. I so loved hearing my daughter cry, "I want my mommy" last night...I just wish it wouldn't have been while the bride was walking down the aisle!
Overall, it was a good time. We are all tired today from being up later than usual, but it's the weekend, so it doesn't really matter. Tonight, I will get Noly to help me put the grab-bags together for her birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. Oh, and Kevin will need to go pick up some cupcakes since I can't touch eggs to make them myself. Oh, and I'll need to wrap Noly's birthday presents. Oh, and...it doesn't stop, does it? Being a Mommy is a thrill-seeking, adventurous, ever-changing story with little, tiny characters and tons of tears and giggles.
We used to go camping and dirt-biking/4 wheeling in the nearby National Forest together. It was a fun, care-free time! The dare-devil that I am, I remember the dirt on a trail pulling me right into a tree when I was riding my dirtbike. No harm done...at least to me, maybe a small dent in my bike. I remember dirt-biking in the morning, then going to my Accounting classes covered in dirt and smelling like gas and oil...not your typical Accounting student.
Part of me misses those days, but the other part of me LOVES where I am now. I didn't have Noly or Jule back then. I also didn't know many of my friends that are so dear to me now. That part of me still exists, but I think it will have to be put on hold until my kids get older. They are my priority now, and it thrills me just as much to see them accomplish each milestone. I so loved hearing my daughter cry, "I want my mommy" last night...I just wish it wouldn't have been while the bride was walking down the aisle!
Overall, it was a good time. We are all tired today from being up later than usual, but it's the weekend, so it doesn't really matter. Tonight, I will get Noly to help me put the grab-bags together for her birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. Oh, and Kevin will need to go pick up some cupcakes since I can't touch eggs to make them myself. Oh, and I'll need to wrap Noly's birthday presents. Oh, and...it doesn't stop, does it? Being a Mommy is a thrill-seeking, adventurous, ever-changing story with little, tiny characters and tons of tears and giggles.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
"Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
I was reading in Colossians 3 this morning...taking a break from trying to balance a ridiculously messy Bank Reconciliation. Verses 12-14 say, "12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
I started thinking about the way that God forgives me. He doesn't forgive me in a way that holds all of my wrongs over my head. He forgives me "as far as the east is from the west." Honestly, that is not how I function. I tend to store my hurts and disappointments in a compartment that I can pull out whenever I feel I need vindication. That's not the way it should be. If I'm truly living in love, with compassion and humility, I'm going to forgive...really forgive. Guess that's something I need to be working on and growing in. That is the kind of forgiveness I want to teach my children.
We had a really rough evening last night. Jule was very fussy and spitty for Brenda yesterday. He fell asleep on the way home and would not wake up even at 5PM. So, I gave he and Noly a bath, which I knew would wake him up. He woke right up and was happy, even though he was still spitting up a good bit. He was happy until around 8 PM, then he cried, screeched and spit up until he fell asleep for the night. I was so thankful Kevin was home to walk him around because I wanted to take a bath and go to bed early. For some reason, Noly went to bed at 7:30 but did not fall asleep until around 9. She kept crying and saying her ears, neck and bug bites were hurting her. We gave her Tylenol just in case her ears were hurting, but I really think she just didn't want to go to bed.
This morning, I asked Noly if she wanted to use the Dora potty when I woke her up. I noticed that her diaper was fairly dry. To my amazement, she did and she peed a ton! I was so proud of her for holding it for the potty! I put on her special Princess pull-ups, and she was beaming with pride...so cute. Jule was all smiles this morning and was back to a normal amount of spit-up. He let out a tiny happy screech, so I hope he'll be laughing soon! Baby laughter is one of my favorite things in the world.
I'm currently waiting to receive Marty Magehee's new solo CD in the mail. It's been something I've been anxiously waiting to hear since 4 Him's finale concert in September 2006. I still have some sadness when I think about that concert. It was the last time I would see the guys together on stage, and their music had been such a big part of my healing during all of my miscarriages. Music has not been the same for me since that night. I found a few groups/solo artists that I can give or take, but nothing quite compares to 4 Him. Oh well, change continues throughout life. If everything was always the same, I would live in boredom.
Ahhhh....back to the exceedingly long Bank Reconciliation.
I started thinking about the way that God forgives me. He doesn't forgive me in a way that holds all of my wrongs over my head. He forgives me "as far as the east is from the west." Honestly, that is not how I function. I tend to store my hurts and disappointments in a compartment that I can pull out whenever I feel I need vindication. That's not the way it should be. If I'm truly living in love, with compassion and humility, I'm going to forgive...really forgive. Guess that's something I need to be working on and growing in. That is the kind of forgiveness I want to teach my children.
We had a really rough evening last night. Jule was very fussy and spitty for Brenda yesterday. He fell asleep on the way home and would not wake up even at 5PM. So, I gave he and Noly a bath, which I knew would wake him up. He woke right up and was happy, even though he was still spitting up a good bit. He was happy until around 8 PM, then he cried, screeched and spit up until he fell asleep for the night. I was so thankful Kevin was home to walk him around because I wanted to take a bath and go to bed early. For some reason, Noly went to bed at 7:30 but did not fall asleep until around 9. She kept crying and saying her ears, neck and bug bites were hurting her. We gave her Tylenol just in case her ears were hurting, but I really think she just didn't want to go to bed.
This morning, I asked Noly if she wanted to use the Dora potty when I woke her up. I noticed that her diaper was fairly dry. To my amazement, she did and she peed a ton! I was so proud of her for holding it for the potty! I put on her special Princess pull-ups, and she was beaming with pride...so cute. Jule was all smiles this morning and was back to a normal amount of spit-up. He let out a tiny happy screech, so I hope he'll be laughing soon! Baby laughter is one of my favorite things in the world.
I'm currently waiting to receive Marty Magehee's new solo CD in the mail. It's been something I've been anxiously waiting to hear since 4 Him's finale concert in September 2006. I still have some sadness when I think about that concert. It was the last time I would see the guys together on stage, and their music had been such a big part of my healing during all of my miscarriages. Music has not been the same for me since that night. I found a few groups/solo artists that I can give or take, but nothing quite compares to 4 Him. Oh well, change continues throughout life. If everything was always the same, I would live in boredom.
Ahhhh....back to the exceedingly long Bank Reconciliation.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
To Potty Train, or Not to Potty Train...THAT is a HUGE Question!
Yesterday, I took Noly to Walmart after work to purchase a few needed potty training items. I let her choose a seat with handles that goes on top of the big potty because she does not like the little potty chairs. She, of course, chose Dora. I then let her choose new undies, and again, she chose Dora. She proudly carried around her new purchases and could not wait to put them to good use when we got home. We also bought pull-ups because I'm not ready to clean up pee-pee messes with a screaming baby!
After all of this to-do about going on the big potty, she did not go one time last night. Instead, she peed in every pull-up I put on her. It didn't bother me one bit. I really don't think she understands the feeling before she has to go. When she is truly ready, we will have everything we need : ) I figure we will work on it, at her pace, until then. I'm not really ready for my baby to grow up anyway!
Jule did ok last night. He did not take an afternoon nap, so he was very tired. He was partially content as long as I held him. He eventually fell asleep around 6:45 after his bath but was back up and fussy from 7:30-8:45. I think I made it to bed by 9 or 9:30 but can't really remember.
As I sat rocking him last night, I wanted him to hurry and go to sleep so I could get some time alone. Then, I thought about Noly and how quickly she's grown into my big girl rather than my baby, and I sat and rocked him for awhile, enjoying his baby scent and baby soft cheeks. All too soon, I will be buying pull-ups for him. He won't need me to rock him anymore.
It made me sad to think of not having a baby anymore, but pregnancy is just too hard on my body and too risky for my babies. So, this morning, I remembered to sign the consent laying on the counter for Kevin's vasectomy. I will miss having babies, but I'm done. I'll just have to enjoy the time I have right now while they think I'm the coolest person on earth...gotta love that!
After all of this to-do about going on the big potty, she did not go one time last night. Instead, she peed in every pull-up I put on her. It didn't bother me one bit. I really don't think she understands the feeling before she has to go. When she is truly ready, we will have everything we need : ) I figure we will work on it, at her pace, until then. I'm not really ready for my baby to grow up anyway!
Jule did ok last night. He did not take an afternoon nap, so he was very tired. He was partially content as long as I held him. He eventually fell asleep around 6:45 after his bath but was back up and fussy from 7:30-8:45. I think I made it to bed by 9 or 9:30 but can't really remember.
As I sat rocking him last night, I wanted him to hurry and go to sleep so I could get some time alone. Then, I thought about Noly and how quickly she's grown into my big girl rather than my baby, and I sat and rocked him for awhile, enjoying his baby scent and baby soft cheeks. All too soon, I will be buying pull-ups for him. He won't need me to rock him anymore.
It made me sad to think of not having a baby anymore, but pregnancy is just too hard on my body and too risky for my babies. So, this morning, I remembered to sign the consent laying on the counter for Kevin's vasectomy. I will miss having babies, but I'm done. I'll just have to enjoy the time I have right now while they think I'm the coolest person on earth...gotta love that!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Beloved Geeky
I changed the name of this blog...partly because the old name was too long. Beloved Geeky makes absolutely no sense unless you know Noly VERY well! Her blankey is her Geeky and she LOVES it! She makes her daddy carry it on his shoulder when he carries her to bed. She loves to inhale the scent of it when I pull it out of the dryer announcing that Geeky is all clean. Unfortunately, it was Savannah's and is from Portugal, so we cannot get another one to rotate. We don't allow her to take it out of the house, so I'm hoping it will last until she is ready to part with it.
I wonder what Jule will attach to. He HATES pacis. No matter how hard we try to get him to take one, he pushes it out with his tongue and acts like we've given him something disgusting. I'm a tad afraid he will suck his thumb or fingers because he's pretty good at that. I imagine that's a harder habit to break than a paci habit because you can't take their hand away. Oh well, he won't get married with his thumb in his mouth.
I'm sure our journey into parenthood is just beginning with these two little ones....
I wonder what Jule will attach to. He HATES pacis. No matter how hard we try to get him to take one, he pushes it out with his tongue and acts like we've given him something disgusting. I'm a tad afraid he will suck his thumb or fingers because he's pretty good at that. I imagine that's a harder habit to break than a paci habit because you can't take their hand away. Oh well, he won't get married with his thumb in his mouth.
I'm sure our journey into parenthood is just beginning with these two little ones....
Chocolate and Potty Training
I was thinking about two things on the way home from work last night...chocolate and prayer. The two do not seem to relate to each other in any way, but they have one thing in common...my nearly three-year-old daughter, Noly.
Noly is the epitome of energy, sensitivity and laughter all rolled into one. Her big blue eyes can melt your heart even when you are trying to punish her for doing something wrong. She started Preschool just a few weeks ago and loves every minute of it. Now, since Noly was small, we have been teaching her to pray before she eats. I taught her a short prayer because of her short attention span. We have always said, "Dear God, thank You for our food. Amen." The Preschool has another approach....they sing the prayer. This seems to have struck a note with her, and she now offers to pray.
Lately, I have been so tired from working, having a fussy baby and taking care of a toddler that I find myself with my elbows on the dinner table and my hands clasped together. I didn't think a thing of it until Noly started to sing her prayer in the middle of our meal. Oh yeah, that's what we do when we clasp our hands! It is so precious and priceless to me that I now do it on purpose just to hear her sing. I thought of how the Bible says in 2 Timothy 4 to be "instant in season, out of season" and in 1 Thessalonians 5 to "pray without ceasing." Always ready...always connected to God. I pray this is the kind of relationship my little girl has with God.
On another note, as of two days ago, Noly decided to potty train. She is doing well, and she requires that every attempt be rewarded with M&M's. This is so strange to us because she has always refused to eat chocolate. She would turn her nose up at anything brown or anything sweet. We didn't mind it...just thought it was odd. As of last night, every time ANY of us go to the bathroom, Noly insists on picking out a certain color of M&M for us...so much for losing all of my baby weight!
This morning was more of a delightful morning than most. Jule woke up after Kevin gave him his bottle. He usually just falls back to sleep. Kevin put him in his carseat so he could get something else done, and Jule looked at me and smiled and cooed. He then looked at Noly and got a huge grin on his face. So, we all spent part of our morning gathered around our little man talking to him and enjoying the coos and wide-mouthed smiles. Soon he'll be giggling, and I hope that soon, his pain will be gone.
Noly is the epitome of energy, sensitivity and laughter all rolled into one. Her big blue eyes can melt your heart even when you are trying to punish her for doing something wrong. She started Preschool just a few weeks ago and loves every minute of it. Now, since Noly was small, we have been teaching her to pray before she eats. I taught her a short prayer because of her short attention span. We have always said, "Dear God, thank You for our food. Amen." The Preschool has another approach....they sing the prayer. This seems to have struck a note with her, and she now offers to pray.
Lately, I have been so tired from working, having a fussy baby and taking care of a toddler that I find myself with my elbows on the dinner table and my hands clasped together. I didn't think a thing of it until Noly started to sing her prayer in the middle of our meal. Oh yeah, that's what we do when we clasp our hands! It is so precious and priceless to me that I now do it on purpose just to hear her sing. I thought of how the Bible says in 2 Timothy 4 to be "instant in season, out of season" and in 1 Thessalonians 5 to "pray without ceasing." Always ready...always connected to God. I pray this is the kind of relationship my little girl has with God.
On another note, as of two days ago, Noly decided to potty train. She is doing well, and she requires that every attempt be rewarded with M&M's. This is so strange to us because she has always refused to eat chocolate. She would turn her nose up at anything brown or anything sweet. We didn't mind it...just thought it was odd. As of last night, every time ANY of us go to the bathroom, Noly insists on picking out a certain color of M&M for us...so much for losing all of my baby weight!
This morning was more of a delightful morning than most. Jule woke up after Kevin gave him his bottle. He usually just falls back to sleep. Kevin put him in his carseat so he could get something else done, and Jule looked at me and smiled and cooed. He then looked at Noly and got a huge grin on his face. So, we all spent part of our morning gathered around our little man talking to him and enjoying the coos and wide-mouthed smiles. Soon he'll be giggling, and I hope that soon, his pain will be gone.
Monday, October 6, 2008
A Chewing of the Word
Right now, my husband and I are going through a rather tough ordeal. Our 3-month-old son cries excessively and spits up or throws up frequently. He had a test 3 days ago that showed a problem with his esophagus. So, we're in the "in-between" stage. We know something is definitely wrong, but we have no idea what it is. We await an appointment with a GI Specialist and may have to drive 1.5 hours to go to one when there is one 20 minutes from home that is booked.
With this weight on my shoulders, I went to church Saturday night to be filled up. The Pastor was talking about the Word dwelling in us. He used an example of chewing seeds. As I sat here lacking words to describe everything that is resonating in my head, I remembered that Psalm 119 is about the Psalmist's love for the Word. These are the verses that stuck out:
Psalm 119
V.15 "I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you, I attentively watch how you've done it."
V.25-32 "I'm feeling terrible—I couldn't feel worse! Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember? When I told my story, you responded; train me well in your deep wisdom. Help me understand these things inside and out so I can ponder your miracle-wonders. My sad life's dilapidated, a falling-down barn; build me up again by your Word. Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with your clear revelation. I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me; God, don't let me down! I'll run the course you lay out for me if you'll just show me how."
We can only succeed in going where God is leading in our search for healing for Jule. Pastor Mike anointed Jule and prayed over him. I know that God can heal Him, but if He doesn't, then I know that He will lead us to the Doctor that He has for him. Even if we have a long drive ahead of us, I know that God has our course mapped out for us, and we will benefit by following His course.
Verse 25 "I'm geeling terrible..." is spot-on with what I feel right now. I want my son to be healthy, and I want to take his pain away. I'm helpless beyond what a mother's love can do. So, I will chew on the Word, on every Word, that God speaks to me. Third Day's "Revelation" was playing on the radio earlier today, and that is what I need....a revelation.
With this weight on my shoulders, I went to church Saturday night to be filled up. The Pastor was talking about the Word dwelling in us. He used an example of chewing seeds. As I sat here lacking words to describe everything that is resonating in my head, I remembered that Psalm 119 is about the Psalmist's love for the Word. These are the verses that stuck out:
Psalm 119
V.15 "I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you, I attentively watch how you've done it."
V.25-32 "I'm feeling terrible—I couldn't feel worse! Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember? When I told my story, you responded; train me well in your deep wisdom. Help me understand these things inside and out so I can ponder your miracle-wonders. My sad life's dilapidated, a falling-down barn; build me up again by your Word. Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with your clear revelation. I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me; God, don't let me down! I'll run the course you lay out for me if you'll just show me how."
We can only succeed in going where God is leading in our search for healing for Jule. Pastor Mike anointed Jule and prayed over him. I know that God can heal Him, but if He doesn't, then I know that He will lead us to the Doctor that He has for him. Even if we have a long drive ahead of us, I know that God has our course mapped out for us, and we will benefit by following His course.
Verse 25 "I'm geeling terrible..." is spot-on with what I feel right now. I want my son to be healthy, and I want to take his pain away. I'm helpless beyond what a mother's love can do. So, I will chew on the Word, on every Word, that God speaks to me. Third Day's "Revelation" was playing on the radio earlier today, and that is what I need....a revelation.
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