It seems God is up to something I don't understand : ) For a long time now, I have not been writing songs like I used to. I felt like I was wasting my time. Until recently...we joined our new church, and there is something stirring in me. I have been staying up very late, every night, writing songs. There is a new excitement in me that I matter (outside of being a mommy, wife, and accountant). Music has been my passion since I was around 4 years old, and I used to keep musician hours...until I became an accountant and had to be to work early! So right now, I am very tired, but I'm also full of anticipation of what God can do. I consider any song a huge success if it touches just ONE heart, if it changes just ONE life. I'm not aiming for the millions here...just the one. God is speaking so many things to me that I cannot share on a public forum, but I can say that I believe He is going to begin something new and different in our lives. I know the plans He has for me are good!
I'm sure I will have more to share later, but I'll leave you with the idea that started last night's song...
We tend to plan out our lives. We will be married with 2.5 kids by the time we are 28. We'll have a good-paying job in the field we desire, and we will have a beautiful home with no problems paying our bills. I compare this to a drawing in your driveway. You draw out all of the plans you have for your life with sidewalk chalk. It looks stunning and beautiful with all of the colors. There is so much detail in each portion of the drawing that you can hardly stand the anticipation....then it starts to rain. There goes your drawing. There goes your ability to have children. Instead, you have infertility or miscarriages. Maybe you don't even find a spouse. You lose out on the job you planned on having, and you lose your house because you can't afford to keep it and make the payments. That nasty rain!
Then you realize that God didn't have the same plans for you that you laid out in your drawing. He had a different calling for you. And as the rain destroys all of the plans that you have for yourself, it opens you up to HIS plans for you. Just as the rain brings so much pain from the devastation of unfulfilled dreams, it brings so much joy and fulfillment down the road when God's desires for you emerge. Sometimes the rain brings relief from pain, like the pressure of a migraine is realeased when it rains! What do we do with the rain? Get mad and hold a grudge because it ruined our painting? Or embrace the pain and go forward knowing that God's plans remain unchanged as His Word says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"!
