Last night, I had Jule sitting on the floor in front of me so he could play with his Jungle toy. Usually, he slumps forward, and that is how he kind-of sits up. Last night, he straightened his back! He sat for several minutes like that before he looked at something and started falling to the side. That means he should be sitting up soon! It will be so nice for him to sit up because it will help his reflux even more. He went to sleep again at 7 since I didn't let him have a nap in the evening, but he woke up screaming 3x before 9:30. I gave him Tylenol around 7:30 because Brenda said his gums felt swollen to her, so maybe it's teething pain. I let him cry it out the last two times, and he didn't last long. He did, however, roll to his back and couldn't get back to his stomach, so I had to go roll him over a couple of times. If I can get both kids in bed for good by 8, it would really help my sanity because I could have a little "me" time in the evenings. I am able to clean a little in the evenings while they both play here and there, which is a major improvement!
I'm going to end the new year with the Scripture that God impressed on my heart right before I got pregnant with Jule. Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." He truly did make a way in the desert. He brought me two beautiful children in the midst of infertility and miscarriage. The past is done, the mourning is over, and it's a new day...it's a new year. Happy New Year to everyone!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A Nice Evening with the Kids
Last night, Kevin was out of town, and I had a wonderful evening with the kids. Noly was happy & cute, and Jule was very content. Noly helped me cook chicken tenders and oven-baked french fries though she only ate two chicken tenders. I guess she just wasn't very hungry last night. Then, she was intent on dressing as a kitten, so we pulled out what we needed for her Halloween costume. She was a kitten for a few hours and even wanted to wear the costume to bed!
Jule played with his toys and watched Noly and I. Then, around 6:30, he got VERY tired. His little eyes were puffy, watery and red and he could barely hold his head up. I made him stay awake until 7:15 so he wouldn't just take a nap and then be up until 10 or 11. He drank his bottle at 7:15 and slept the rest of the night. I gave him green beans, and he loved them. I had only tried them once before because he got terrible gas from them, but that was over a month ago. This time, I didn't notice any extra gas or fussiness, so maybe they are a new food option for him.
Someone from Grace couldn't remember exactly who I was, so I went digging in the garage boxes and found my old photo albums. I took some pix of the old pix and posted them on Facebook. I had a nice time looking through the albums and remembering various occasions. Maybe I should grow my hair back out? It will take a long time if I do, and I'm not sure Kevin will like it. We'll see...I have a hair appointment on Saturday.
Today feels like a better day, and I'm just enjoying it!
Jule played with his toys and watched Noly and I. Then, around 6:30, he got VERY tired. His little eyes were puffy, watery and red and he could barely hold his head up. I made him stay awake until 7:15 so he wouldn't just take a nap and then be up until 10 or 11. He drank his bottle at 7:15 and slept the rest of the night. I gave him green beans, and he loved them. I had only tried them once before because he got terrible gas from them, but that was over a month ago. This time, I didn't notice any extra gas or fussiness, so maybe they are a new food option for him.
Someone from Grace couldn't remember exactly who I was, so I went digging in the garage boxes and found my old photo albums. I took some pix of the old pix and posted them on Facebook. I had a nice time looking through the albums and remembering various occasions. Maybe I should grow my hair back out? It will take a long time if I do, and I'm not sure Kevin will like it. We'll see...I have a hair appointment on Saturday.
Today feels like a better day, and I'm just enjoying it!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Precious Suffering
As my mind has been recounting the events of the past few weeks, I remembered the words to a very old song. I can't remember the name of the singer; he wasn't very popular. I think the name of the song was "Precious Suffering," and I'm going to type out the words to the best of my very foggy memory.
V1.
If the storm makes me more like Him,
If the night keeps His light from growing dim,
I won't fear though my tears fall like rain.
Let the storms come, let the night fall, let the tears rain.
Chorus1:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
We share a love so bittersweet for all the work you've done in me.
Let the One who suffered most be glorified.
Precious suffering, you're a dear old friend of mine.
V2.
Time will come when we say goodbye
When the Father's will in me is satisfied.
It may sound strange, but I'll be sad to see you go.
You've taught me more love, brought me more joy, shown me Jesus.
Chorus2:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
Without you, would I know all the blessings you have shown,
And would the gold in me ever be refined.
Precious suffering...
Bridge:
Oh to know the power of His resurrection,
That His all-sufficient grace is greater still.
That's all I can remember, but that's where I feel I am. I feel like every time I turn around, something else is slamming me against a wall. Since the week before Thanksgiving, both of the kids have been sick with RSV at one time or another, Jule has had a double ear infection followed by a single ear infection, Jule has been in the hospital with severe croup after being transported by an ambulance, I ended up with a sore throat and 102 fever while on the way home from the hospital, our trip to Indiana had to be stopped after making it as far as Asheville, and we spent Christmas with a screaming baby with neither one of our families around. I'm so frustrated...I feel so robbed. I feel robbed of the Christmas I had been so excited for, I feel robbed of having a baby that I can enjoy through the infant months, and I feel robbed of having a normal "mommy" life. There is a word for all this...suffering. Yet still, as oppressed as I feel, I have not endured anywhere near the suffering that Jesus did.
I Peter 4:12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
I don't understand why this all has to be so hard and overwhelming, but I do feel that I need to refocus my mind not on what is seen but on what is unseen. What is unseen is the eternal fruit of suffering.
2 Corinthians 4:15-18 says, "For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."
I have to believe that things won't always be this difficult; otherwise, I wouldn't survive. I also have to believe that the suffering will pave the way for the future, that going through these times will make me stronger, and that the labor for my children will benefit their eternal beings. After all, my number one goal is that they know God. The crying, sickness and weariness won't mean a thing in a place where none of the aforementioned items exist. So, I must reconnect with Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Now, if I could only catch my breath for just a little bit....
V1.
If the storm makes me more like Him,
If the night keeps His light from growing dim,
I won't fear though my tears fall like rain.
Let the storms come, let the night fall, let the tears rain.
Chorus1:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
We share a love so bittersweet for all the work you've done in me.
Let the One who suffered most be glorified.
Precious suffering, you're a dear old friend of mine.
V2.
Time will come when we say goodbye
When the Father's will in me is satisfied.
It may sound strange, but I'll be sad to see you go.
You've taught me more love, brought me more joy, shown me Jesus.
Chorus2:
Oh, precious suffering, you're an old friend of mine.
Without you, would I know all the blessings you have shown,
And would the gold in me ever be refined.
Precious suffering...
Bridge:
Oh to know the power of His resurrection,
That His all-sufficient grace is greater still.
That's all I can remember, but that's where I feel I am. I feel like every time I turn around, something else is slamming me against a wall. Since the week before Thanksgiving, both of the kids have been sick with RSV at one time or another, Jule has had a double ear infection followed by a single ear infection, Jule has been in the hospital with severe croup after being transported by an ambulance, I ended up with a sore throat and 102 fever while on the way home from the hospital, our trip to Indiana had to be stopped after making it as far as Asheville, and we spent Christmas with a screaming baby with neither one of our families around. I'm so frustrated...I feel so robbed. I feel robbed of the Christmas I had been so excited for, I feel robbed of having a baby that I can enjoy through the infant months, and I feel robbed of having a normal "mommy" life. There is a word for all this...suffering. Yet still, as oppressed as I feel, I have not endured anywhere near the suffering that Jesus did.
I Peter 4:12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
I don't understand why this all has to be so hard and overwhelming, but I do feel that I need to refocus my mind not on what is seen but on what is unseen. What is unseen is the eternal fruit of suffering.
2 Corinthians 4:15-18 says, "For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."
I have to believe that things won't always be this difficult; otherwise, I wouldn't survive. I also have to believe that the suffering will pave the way for the future, that going through these times will make me stronger, and that the labor for my children will benefit their eternal beings. After all, my number one goal is that they know God. The crying, sickness and weariness won't mean a thing in a place where none of the aforementioned items exist. So, I must reconnect with Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Now, if I could only catch my breath for just a little bit....
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Still Busy
Wow, it's been almost a week since I blogged. We have still been so busy, not really with anything new, just with keeping up. I went to the Neurologist last week and started a new migraine preventive med on Saturday. It's a blood pressure med that reduces the blood flow in your head, thus reducing migraines. Saturday through Monday were rough. I had nausea, insomnia, hot flashes and felt very weak. Yesterday, my body started adjusting better, and those side effects seem to be gone. I've not had a full-blown migraine since starting the meds, and with this weather, I normally would. I've only had some dull headaches that don't even merit taking Tylenol. Maybe the meds will stop the migraines altogether?!
Jule has been acting really screamy/fussy for the past few days again. He is going to bed, then waking up about 30 minutes later completely unhappy. The past two nights, I've given him Tylenol and let him cry it out. He usually lasts about 10 minutes, but Sunday night, he lasted 10 minutes several different times until we figured out that he needed Tylenol. I think he's teething since the doc said his ears were clearing up last week, and he just finished his antibiotic yesterday. We'll have to keep an eye on him. He is majorly drooling and chewing on everything, but he's been doing that for a month now, so I don't know.
I can't believe we leave for Indiana in just over a week. I'm scared that Jule will scream in the car, but we are going to try it at night. Maybe we can drive both Friday and Saturday nights all through the night....or even 7-3 each night if Jule will sleep. I don't expect Noly to be a problem. She's a good traveler now.
Jule has been acting really screamy/fussy for the past few days again. He is going to bed, then waking up about 30 minutes later completely unhappy. The past two nights, I've given him Tylenol and let him cry it out. He usually lasts about 10 minutes, but Sunday night, he lasted 10 minutes several different times until we figured out that he needed Tylenol. I think he's teething since the doc said his ears were clearing up last week, and he just finished his antibiotic yesterday. We'll have to keep an eye on him. He is majorly drooling and chewing on everything, but he's been doing that for a month now, so I don't know.
I can't believe we leave for Indiana in just over a week. I'm scared that Jule will scream in the car, but we are going to try it at night. Maybe we can drive both Friday and Saturday nights all through the night....or even 7-3 each night if Jule will sleep. I don't expect Noly to be a problem. She's a good traveler now.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Busy Week
It's been an incredibly busy week. Monday, I came down with a stomach virus and a migraine. Kevin spent the day running back and forth between home, work, preschool and the babysitter. Then, he stayed home all evening to pretty much take care of the kids. I was feeling better Tuesday, so I told him to go ahead and work late. I had the kids alone Wednesday and Thursday, so I had no time to get online. On top of that, my work computer was infected with spyware and was a complete mess. Yesterday, I took both kids to the doctor for ear checks. I'm glad that both are doing fine.
Tonight, we are going to the Worship Arts Christmas Party at David & Pam's. Kathleen is keeping Noly, and we are taking Jule to the church for childcare. We feel like he has way less physical contact with kids and is less likely to get sick. Noly would love to play with the kids, but I'm afraid she would catch something.
Saturday, I plan to get some "me" time in the late morning. I really need some time to myself away from the kids after having them so much by myself this week. Last night, I had to take an Ativan again. Jule has not been his normal self ever since Thanksgiving, but he is improving as his ears improve.
Noly is becoming very conversational and is still peeing in the potty here and there. It's not consistent yet, but I'm sure she'll get the hang of it before long. Last night, she was a bit wild and chatty, so I told her to get 3 books and sit on the couch to read them while I ate. She did, and I was amazed how well she sat there still and quiet, reading the books to herself. We'll have to do that more often! I didn't have time to sit and read books to her last night, but we do try to every night when possible.
Jule is really grabbing for things right now. I have to watch my dinner plate when he is on my lap. He is also very interested in toys. I put new batteries in Noly's stuffed Einstein caterpillar last night, and he really liked listening to the noises it made. Ever since his vomiting episode on Saturday, he's been refusing solids. Brenda and I have both had to feed him a bite and quickly stick his bottle in his mouth so he won't spit it out. It takes SO much longer to feed him right now, but he needs the solids. Otherwise, he'd take a bottle every hour and a half. That's just too much milk! I bought matching Christmas pj's for the kids and I, and Jule completely fits in a 12 month sleeper already! He is so big!
Hopefully, this weekend will prove to be more relaxing than the week has been. Next weekend, I'll be singing, then my birthday will be the following Monday....busy, busy.
Tonight, we are going to the Worship Arts Christmas Party at David & Pam's. Kathleen is keeping Noly, and we are taking Jule to the church for childcare. We feel like he has way less physical contact with kids and is less likely to get sick. Noly would love to play with the kids, but I'm afraid she would catch something.
Saturday, I plan to get some "me" time in the late morning. I really need some time to myself away from the kids after having them so much by myself this week. Last night, I had to take an Ativan again. Jule has not been his normal self ever since Thanksgiving, but he is improving as his ears improve.
Noly is becoming very conversational and is still peeing in the potty here and there. It's not consistent yet, but I'm sure she'll get the hang of it before long. Last night, she was a bit wild and chatty, so I told her to get 3 books and sit on the couch to read them while I ate. She did, and I was amazed how well she sat there still and quiet, reading the books to herself. We'll have to do that more often! I didn't have time to sit and read books to her last night, but we do try to every night when possible.
Jule is really grabbing for things right now. I have to watch my dinner plate when he is on my lap. He is also very interested in toys. I put new batteries in Noly's stuffed Einstein caterpillar last night, and he really liked listening to the noises it made. Ever since his vomiting episode on Saturday, he's been refusing solids. Brenda and I have both had to feed him a bite and quickly stick his bottle in his mouth so he won't spit it out. It takes SO much longer to feed him right now, but he needs the solids. Otherwise, he'd take a bottle every hour and a half. That's just too much milk! I bought matching Christmas pj's for the kids and I, and Jule completely fits in a 12 month sleeper already! He is so big!
Hopefully, this weekend will prove to be more relaxing than the week has been. Next weekend, I'll be singing, then my birthday will be the following Monday....busy, busy.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
Wow, Thanksgiving weekend was quite an event for us this year! Thanksgiving Day was glorious! We all got up around 7:30, and Noly and I put up the tree together while Jule watched from his exersaucer. Then, while he took a nap, we decorated the tree. It definitely has her touch this year, and I love it! Kevin organized the garage as he brought Christmas decorations in, and it looks so much better. We have a lot of room in there now! I even got to take a nap in our bed with Jule. It only lasted 20 minutes before he spit up all over our bed, but I so enjoyed it. I love cuddling with my last baby.
Friday, I watched Jade, Noly and Jule while Kevin helped Kathleen get her computer moved to her new apartment. That's when it all started...Jule started arching his back and crying hysterically. Saturday, I took him to the Doctor, and he had a double ear infection. Kevin and I were both on our last nerve from all the screaming, so we were exhausted by Saturday evening. We gave him the antibiotic at 2, then baby motrin at 6. At 7, he started throwing up and covered Kevin and himself, the chair, the wall, and the floor. I gave him a second bath, and he promptly fell asleep. We got to bed at 11 PM after cleaning up everything, playing with Noly and doing numerous loads of laundry. Jule woke up at 3 AM starving and threw up only once with that bottle. Kevin got up with him and pretty much had to hold him to keep him asleep after that. We ended up holding him all weekend whenever he needed a nap. I think laying down hurt his ears more. He was really good for Brenda yesterday, but he's been refusing solids since Saturday. I've just been giving him bottles instead.
All Sunday night, I was nauseous and felt feverish. I only had 2 hours of broken sleep because I kept waking up feeling awful. I woke up at 5 with a migraine, then ended up having a stomach bug on top of that all day and evening. Kevin did a wonderful job with the kids last night, and I helped whenever I wasn't in the bathroom. I'm feeling better this morning. I have another migraine, but I think it's from dehydration. Hopefully, tonight will be an easier night for all of us!
We found out that Jule weighs 20 lbs! That's 2 lbs more than I weighed at 1 year, and he's not even 5 months yet. What a chunker! Noly is 32 lbs, so I wonder how long it will take him to pass her up. Yesterday morning, she woke up while Kevin was taking Jule to Brenda's. I had her chocolate milk (Kawakee) waiting in a cooler by the bed, so she got in bed with me and drank her milk and watched Disney. She snuggled really close to me and said, "I love you." She is SO sweet and so caring when I'm not feeling well. Her tender heart is difficult to deal with when she gets in trouble because she cries over everything, but it is so refreshing to see it at other times. She was telling Kevin she missed me whenever I was in the bathroom last night. They are so precious to me, and I'm really missing them today.
Friday, I watched Jade, Noly and Jule while Kevin helped Kathleen get her computer moved to her new apartment. That's when it all started...Jule started arching his back and crying hysterically. Saturday, I took him to the Doctor, and he had a double ear infection. Kevin and I were both on our last nerve from all the screaming, so we were exhausted by Saturday evening. We gave him the antibiotic at 2, then baby motrin at 6. At 7, he started throwing up and covered Kevin and himself, the chair, the wall, and the floor. I gave him a second bath, and he promptly fell asleep. We got to bed at 11 PM after cleaning up everything, playing with Noly and doing numerous loads of laundry. Jule woke up at 3 AM starving and threw up only once with that bottle. Kevin got up with him and pretty much had to hold him to keep him asleep after that. We ended up holding him all weekend whenever he needed a nap. I think laying down hurt his ears more. He was really good for Brenda yesterday, but he's been refusing solids since Saturday. I've just been giving him bottles instead.
All Sunday night, I was nauseous and felt feverish. I only had 2 hours of broken sleep because I kept waking up feeling awful. I woke up at 5 with a migraine, then ended up having a stomach bug on top of that all day and evening. Kevin did a wonderful job with the kids last night, and I helped whenever I wasn't in the bathroom. I'm feeling better this morning. I have another migraine, but I think it's from dehydration. Hopefully, tonight will be an easier night for all of us!
We found out that Jule weighs 20 lbs! That's 2 lbs more than I weighed at 1 year, and he's not even 5 months yet. What a chunker! Noly is 32 lbs, so I wonder how long it will take him to pass her up. Yesterday morning, she woke up while Kevin was taking Jule to Brenda's. I had her chocolate milk (Kawakee) waiting in a cooler by the bed, so she got in bed with me and drank her milk and watched Disney. She snuggled really close to me and said, "I love you." She is SO sweet and so caring when I'm not feeling well. Her tender heart is difficult to deal with when she gets in trouble because she cries over everything, but it is so refreshing to see it at other times. She was telling Kevin she missed me whenever I was in the bathroom last night. They are so precious to me, and I'm really missing them today.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Tagged by Elissa...Marriage Survey
How long have you been married?
8.5 Years
Is this your first marriage?
No
Is it how you imagined it would be?
I guess so...I don't think about things like that very often. Just go with the flow.
What would you change?
Kevin being home more
Are you married to your soulmate?
Don't believe in soulmates
What do you argue about the most?
Messiness
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
God and our children.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Online
Where was your first date?
Applebees
Where were you when you became engaged?
My place
Did you live together before marriage?
Unfortunately, yes
What was your wedding song?
Choong Jung...wrote it myself
Who was in your wedding party?
Jen, Trish & Janice
Steve, Keith & Wade
Do you get along with the in-laws?
For the most part.
Whats your view on children?
We love them and are done and fulfilled with two
Does your spouse feel the same way?
Yes.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
Very much opposites attract
Do you go out without your spouse?
Not really...don't get out much
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
Maybe three days...he travels, so I've gotten used to him being away for short lengths of time
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
No.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Yes.
Does your Spouse trust you?
Yes.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
Pretty good unless it comes to buying gifts
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Some
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yes.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Yes. Disney World
Do you watch the same TV shows?
Usually
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
No, Kev is allergic to cheese
Who takes out the trash?
Both
Who does laundry??
Me.
Who cooks dinner?
I do or he grills
Do you have any traditions?
Watching Two and a Half Men together and going to Disney World yearly.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Yes.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
No.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Well, of course
Do you admit wrong doing?
Sometimes.
Does your spouse?
Sometimes.
Ok, Danette...your turn.
8.5 Years
Is this your first marriage?
No
Is it how you imagined it would be?
I guess so...I don't think about things like that very often. Just go with the flow.
What would you change?
Kevin being home more
Are you married to your soulmate?
Don't believe in soulmates
What do you argue about the most?
Messiness
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
God and our children.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Online
Where was your first date?
Applebees
Where were you when you became engaged?
My place
Did you live together before marriage?
Unfortunately, yes
What was your wedding song?
Choong Jung...wrote it myself
Who was in your wedding party?
Jen, Trish & Janice
Steve, Keith & Wade
Do you get along with the in-laws?
For the most part.
Whats your view on children?
We love them and are done and fulfilled with two
Does your spouse feel the same way?
Yes.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
Very much opposites attract
Do you go out without your spouse?
Not really...don't get out much
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
Maybe three days...he travels, so I've gotten used to him being away for short lengths of time
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
No.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Yes.
Does your Spouse trust you?
Yes.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
Pretty good unless it comes to buying gifts
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Some
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yes.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Yes. Disney World
Do you watch the same TV shows?
Usually
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
No, Kev is allergic to cheese
Who takes out the trash?
Both
Who does laundry??
Me.
Who cooks dinner?
I do or he grills
Do you have any traditions?
Watching Two and a Half Men together and going to Disney World yearly.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Yes.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
No.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Well, of course
Do you admit wrong doing?
Sometimes.
Does your spouse?
Sometimes.
Ok, Danette...your turn.
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