IVF

Wow, I actually have a lot of free time today....better use it while it exists!



In January 2005, I called the nurse at Dr. P's office and told her I would like to go straight to IVF. I felt like IUI was not the way to go. She asked him, and he agreed. So, we set up our cycle. This was $7,000 out of pocket, and that was AFTER insurance paid 70%. I was desparate, and Kevin wanted to do whatever would make me happy. I told him I had to do everything I could before admitting defeat. And so began the needles...3x a day...in the belly. We tried the thigh, and I couldn't bear for my pants to touch my leg...same thing with my arm. So, my belly was covered in bruises. I was emotionally a mess, but deep in my heart, I knew it would work. As I drove over the bridge to one of my appointments, God said, "The waiting is over. The mourning is over." On February 25, 2005, Dr. P transferred two Day 3 embryos, and one of them took. On October 14, 2005, I held my beloved Nolynn Grace. And I can tell you she was so worth it, and I'm glad I didn't give up.

My mom with Noly ~ 2 days old

At this point, I assumed that God meant I would have a child and not a literal son. Noly filled our arms and our lives with laughter. She was a very fussy and difficult baby, and Kevin and I were very content with just one child. We ended up with 4 frozen embryos after the transfer, and I was really on the fence with what to do with them. I didn't believe in destroying them, and I really couldn't bear to put them up for "embryo adoption." They were little Nolys...little versions of Kevin and I, but I was too overwhelmed to even think about going through it all again.

Isn't it amazing how God's plan and timing changes our hearts? I was sitting in church in October 2006, and we were having an anniversary celebration service. There was an older gentleman on stage worshiping with an infant in his arms. God spoke to me and said, "Noly is not the child I promised you." Please note that this is not to say that she is not from God. We consider her an awesome gift He has given us. I instantly knew that when He said a son, He meant a son. I told Him I didn't think I could handle another child but that I would obey. I talked to Kevin, and we decided to try on our own to see what happened, and if nothing happened after a few months, we'd go get our "frosties." All through this time, my heart was changing, and my desire for another child grew.

To be continued...