FET

After several months of trying on our own, I called the nurse at Dr. P's and told her we would like to do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). I received the protocol and began the injections in June of 2007. This cycle was much harder on me than the IVF because the hormones prevented my body from ovulating. So the Lupron (used to suppress your ovaries) continued for MANY days. It made me nauseous, dizzy & crazy. Then, we added Estrogen pills, but I had to switch to Estrogen patches when I could barely keep the growing number of pills down. I think there were antibiotics and steroids in there somewhere, but I don't remember the exact timing. Then, the dreaded day came when it was time to add the Progesterone injections (PIO). They were HORRIBLE! The needle was an inch long, and it had to go into the muscle of my upper thigh. The injection was oil-based, so it was very thick and hard to inject. I had to start with twice a day until after the transfer. By the second day, I couldn't walk. My hips hurt so bad that I was crawling everywhere. I was trying desperately to take care of 2-year-old Noly, but I just couldn't keep up with her.

I don't remember what the date of the transfer was, but they thawed two embryos and only one lived. They thawed the other two, and only one of those lived. So, they put back 2 good-graded embryos. After the transfer, I was on complete bedrest for 48 hours. I only got up to go to the bathroom. It worked to bring me Noly, so I didn't mind doing it at all. My mom flew in and cared for Noly during that time. The whole time I was on bedrest, I kept begging God to please not let me even get pregnant if I was just going to lose the baby/babies again. I just couldn't bear it anymore. I would rather not be pregnant than to be pregnant and go through another loss. Five days later, I was feeling very gaggy and was staring at two beautiful lines on a home pregnancy test! We were elated! I was immediately dealing with frequent nausea and craving every meat in existence.

One morning, I was at work listening to the radio, and I heard "Blessed be Your Name." I heard the line, "You give and take away..." and I knew...this one would be taken away too. I became a bundle of nerves, but when we went in at 6 weeks for an ultrasound, the baby measured perfect and had a good heartbeat. I was relieved but not convinced that everything would be ok. When I was 8 weeks along, I started spotting. I immediately called the Clinic and went in for an ultrasound. Kevin had taken Noly to his High School Reunion Cookout, so I went alone. The ultrasound showed me what I expected...the baby's heart had stopped beating. I didn't cry. I told Dr. S that it had happened before and that I knew what I was going to see before they did the ultrasound. I WAS devastated, but I wasn't surprised. We opted for a D&C a few days later because I was in tremendous pain. They tested the baby, and everything came back normal again...and we found out the baby was a girl. We named her Payton Claire after Dr. P.

After 3 losses, Insurance will usually pay for genetic testing on the mother. Since I had now been through 8 losses, I requested that Dr. P run the labs to make sure I didn't have any problems that could easily be solved. He ran the Immunological and Thrombophilia panel, and everything came back normal. I wasn't even quite sure how to process all of this. All I knew was that God had a son for me, and I knew it wasn't on my heart to adopt. I spent a lot of time seeking God. I needed to know what He wanted me to do.