I Am Here

That about sums it up at the moment...I am here. I am alive. I have moments when I feel very much alive, and I have a TON of moments when I am in so much pain. My migraines have become a daily occurrence now. I have even doubled the dosage on my preventive, but to no avail. Now, I am getting some pretty bad side effects on top of the migraines. I cannot keep my blood sugar up. I found myself devouring almost an entire bag of cotton candy on Saturday within minutes and probably could have continued eating it until I was sick. That is not normal for me. I was able to function after that much sugar, and this was after a full well-balanced meal.

Sunday, I went to church to play after having been up at 3 am with a migraine. My right eye was swollen and very bloodshot from all of the pressure, and I was feeling very off. I made it through rehearsal and through the first service, but I had to go home after the first service after nearly vomiting on stage during the last set. Apparently, all of the migraine meds and the amount of sugar I had consumed led into another bout with serotonin syndrome. I feel like I can't win medication-wise. I have a call into my Neuro to see where to go from here and to see where my Botox request stands with the insurance company.

I am pretty miserable, but I'm so thankful that I get to be home and don't have the stress of working every day. Jule has been a doll, and I love the time I'm getting with him. When I'm feeling good, we go to parks and have as much fun as we can. When I'm feeling bad, we do puzzles and watch cartoons. Noly is doing great at school and loves riding the bus home every day. I have tried to make our evenings fun and creative because I feel like it keeps her busier so she won't miss Kevin as much.

All in all, migraines are bad, but God is still good.