November 2009 Closes

At the end of every month, I total up the number of migraines I had that month. I'm keeping a log for my Neurologist. November brought a whopping 19 migraines my way. Needless to say, it has been a very trying month for me both physically and emotionally. I'm still not at a place where the doctors have helped me, and I often lay in bed at night wondering how I am going to make it through this time and if the pain will be something I will have to endure the rest of my life. I am going to a new Neurologist tomorrow morning, and I am hoping he will be able to help me.

I was reading II Peter 3 today, and a couple of things really hit me. Verses 10-11 say, "But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives." I immediately thought about how what is happening right now will not exist on the other side of eternity. Even if I live my whole life in physical pain, my life with my God will be pain-free and heartache-free. It is of great importance to me that, even if the pain of migraines limits my quality of life, my life is spent teaching my children to know God, to love God, and to live in a right relationship to Him. This world and its ways will pass, but God will never pass and never change. And I do know He hasn't changed because I'm in pain nor is He punishing me. It just IS this way in a fallen world.

The other verses that spoke to me were verses 8-9..."But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." One of my coworkers just brought in his 1-week-old baby. It took me back to the days that my kids were newborns. Those memories automatically go hand-in-hand with my days of infertility for some reason. It was so surreal how I held in my arms the promises that I had waited so long for. But really, to God, it wasn't that long. God wasn't slow in bringing my babies to me. His timing was perfect. He does nothing that lacks perfection.

So, I know I need to hang in and hold on. Right now, Jule squeals like a teenage girl at a concert, and too soon, Noly will BE a screaming teenage girl at a concert. I'm praying for wisdom for the Neurologist tomorrow and tolerance in my body for what he thinks may work.