Hope

Well, I'm feeling a tad more optimistic today...not great, but I didn't spend the day crying! My Neurologist called me personally today and is starting me on a completely new regimen. Instead of Inderal, I will be trying Topamax for daily migraine prevention. I did try Topamax before and ended up in the ER by ambulance on the third day because my upper back hurt so bad that I couldn't move. We are hoping it was just a coincidence, but if I start getting back pain again, I'll stop it immediately.

He's also switching me from Imitrex to Maxalt for migraine relief when they hit. I told him Imitrex makes me feel horrible...almost worse than just the migraine, so we're trying something different. He's also giving me Zofran instead of Phenergan to help with the nausea, so I won't have to try to function with Phenergan in me! To stop this 11-migraines-in-12-days cycle, he's giving me Prednisone for 3 days. I've had to do that before, and it usually works. So, I feel more hopeful. I don't know if any of this will work, but at least it's different and it may!

I also found out about a different option for a church school for Noly next year. My friend, Elissa, has had her kids at the church daycare for years, and it has been a really good environment. She also knows the 4's teacher for next year. They may have an opening for Jule in the daycare portion, but I do prefer to find in-home care for him away from so many sicknesses. My desire is still to send her to a particular church school close to our house, but this is definitely an option.

My stress level is still high, but it's not hyperventilating-inducing. Kevin's parents took Noly for the night, so Jule and I are cuddling and watching Mickey Mouse. I have to believe that God cares very much for them, so He will provide a safe environment for them to grow and develop. Quitting my job is a last resort with our health issues as the insurance saves us TONS, but I will do it if it comes down to it.

As I drove to the sitter's to pick the kids up yesterday, God softly spoke to me..."I will provide." I believe He will, and I just need to calm down and let Him show me what He wants. He's been so faithful to us, and I know He will continue to be. It was a complete miracle for my Neurologist to personally call me because his nurse said he was unreachable for two weeks...either that or she was just trying to blow me off. In any case, I have renewed hope that there is an end to this physical pain and that my children will be well taken care of.

I think I have a stinky diaper to change...sweet Jule is smelling not-so-sweet : )