Relapse

Last night, Jule began screaming in pain again. He had been saying his tummy hurt all day, but he had not cried at all about it. The screaming started very abruptly. So, off to the ER we went...again. Kevin was prepping for a colonoscopy screening, so I knew I had to take him down there alone. It was a struggle for me because the stress of seeing him hurt triggers a pretty quick migraine for me.

Kevin's sister was able to come down and meet me, but Jule and I did ok together. The intussusception corrected on its own again, which is good. The problem is that it recurred. This means it could happen over and over and over again. We are praying that it does not. I hate seeing him in so much pain. It feels like we got over the croup hurdle only to have another, even more serious, medical issue. This one has no known cause, and the solution depends on each occurrence.

As I was sitting in church Sunday, I felt so dead and so beat down. I sang the songs and listened to the sermon, but I felt so blank. I did not know how to keep doing this. I remember God speaking to my heart just a little over a year before Jule was born, "It won't be easy, but I will bring him to you." It's not easy, but I love that God brought him to us. I realized I can prepare for different scenarios. For now, my purse is his diaper bag, and I will have changes of clothes in the car in case he is unexpectedly admitted again. BUT, my preparation could easily be a replacement of reliance and trust in God. It's ok to prepare as long as my trust is not in the preparation. It's all in God's hands...the One Who created this sweet little guy's intestines in the first place. I feel very inadequate due to my physical limitations, but God is so faithful to provide what we need when we need it. Please say a prayer for our little Jule...that we will see no more incidents and that he will be free from the pain of intussusception.