When You Don't Have the Strength to Make Lemonade

You know how people say to make lemonade when life hands you lemons? Well, what if you don't have it in you to make the lemonade? We are still going through a rough patch with our health...namely Jule and I. Norovirus took quite a toll on us for a couple of weeks, but it has left our house now! Jule is back to screaming and screaming and screaming. He's also developed this lovely little habit of trying to make himself throw up when you tell him no and he is mad. Our response is no response since we don't want him to make that a way to manipulate and get what he wants, but the screaming itself is really wearing me down...especially when noise is one of my migraine triggers. We took him in to get his ears checked about 9 days ago, and they were fine. The Ped said his canines are coming in, and they continually hurt because they widen as they grow. My guess is that the pain is making his "terrible two's" worse. We're going to try Tylenol right when we get home from work to try to see if pain is making a difference. He really can be such a sweet baby!

My migraines are really bad. So far, on April 22, I've had 14 migraines in the month. I am up to two Gabapentin pills a day, and the therapeutic dose is three. Tomorrow, I will be able to increase the dosage to three. I'm hoping so much that it helps and that my body can tolerate the pills. Wednesday, I'm going with my friend, Whitney, to a healing service at her church. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to live without pain...it would be amazing! Right now, my husband said he wakes up every day wondering if I will be in pain or if one of us is going to be sick. We just don't get a break. On the very few days we do, we live it up. That's one reason we went to the beach last weekend...we all felt good!

I have not been able to spend much time reading my Bible lately because it hurts to read with the migraines. That is really frustrating for me, and I try to read whenever I'm not in pain. I do listen to sermons online while I'm working so that I'm getting some Word in me even when I can't read. Something has to change. I'm holding a basket of lemons, and I'm doing the best I can to have a good attitude in the midst of this. But it's been almost 2 years now, and I'm tired. I want Jule to be a healthy little boy, and I want to be a pain-free, healthy Mama. Praying for major changes at the healing service even if it's just in my ability to have a good attitude.