Wednesday, August 17, 2011
My Grandma
My Grandma died in the middle of the night. I will share more in the future, but for now, I just can't stop crying.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Struck Down, But Not Destroyed
Lately, I have been feeling very overwhelmed. I know that seems to happen a lot. A few weeks ago, Jule became very sick. Once again, we had to call an ambulance because he had severe croup that made breathing very difficult. He was also running 103 fever, and we could not get any meds into him because the goal with croup is to keep them calm. So, once again, we took off in an ambulance. The next morning, Kevin took him to the Pediatrician, and our very calm Ped was fairly alarmed at how bad Jule sounded even after having the maximum amount of steroids. I was unable to go to work because Jule was so sick, and Noly woke up with close to 102 fever the morning after the ER, and work became very frustrated with me. It felt like everything was beyond what I could bear and definitely beyond what I could control. My brother-in-law was able to keep Noly at the office so that I could work for the last few days of the week. Then, we headed to Indiana.
By this time, I had caught whatever the kids had. So, our drive was very difficult. 15 hours is a long drive when you are feeling well, and it feels like an eternity when you are sick and have a migraine. We made it up there, and I had lost about 6 lbs. in the two days we traveled. I did have a nice time with my family, but I did not truly feel good the whole time. Our trip back went a little better, and I had Jule alone last week. There was a lot to do to prepare for Noly's entrance into Kindergarten this week, so my week was very busy with just one child.
On top of that, my migraines have skyrocketed. We are having evening thunderstorms almost every evening. And while that is good for the drought, it is really bad for my head that feels every minuscule pressure change in the atmosphere. It is August 15, and I've already had 8 migraines this month. So, I've not been a very happy camper to say the least.
Here are some verses that are encouraging to me right now:
Psalm 94:17-19, "Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." (Thanks, John!)
II Corinthians 4:8-10,16-18 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Though I am not giving up, I am simply only able to take life minute by minute at the moment. I don't know how Jule will do in a new school. Will they also think he is autistic? Will they treat him kindly and lovingly? Will he be happy there? How many more times will we need to call 911 because he is struggling to breathe? I do believe Noly will LOVE her new school, and she will even get to ride the bus in the morning for all of 10 minutes :) Will my migraines slow down at all? The pain can be so unbearable. I can only take it minute by minute and fix my eyes on the fact that it won't be like this forever. There is most likely a work being done in me just like there was one being done in me when I went through so many miscarriages...though I could not see it then. I trust Him....with my life, with my children, with my love. If things could just slow down a little, I feel like I may be able to breathe!
By this time, I had caught whatever the kids had. So, our drive was very difficult. 15 hours is a long drive when you are feeling well, and it feels like an eternity when you are sick and have a migraine. We made it up there, and I had lost about 6 lbs. in the two days we traveled. I did have a nice time with my family, but I did not truly feel good the whole time. Our trip back went a little better, and I had Jule alone last week. There was a lot to do to prepare for Noly's entrance into Kindergarten this week, so my week was very busy with just one child.
On top of that, my migraines have skyrocketed. We are having evening thunderstorms almost every evening. And while that is good for the drought, it is really bad for my head that feels every minuscule pressure change in the atmosphere. It is August 15, and I've already had 8 migraines this month. So, I've not been a very happy camper to say the least.
Here are some verses that are encouraging to me right now:
Psalm 94:17-19, "Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." (Thanks, John!)
II Corinthians 4:8-10,16-18 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Though I am not giving up, I am simply only able to take life minute by minute at the moment. I don't know how Jule will do in a new school. Will they also think he is autistic? Will they treat him kindly and lovingly? Will he be happy there? How many more times will we need to call 911 because he is struggling to breathe? I do believe Noly will LOVE her new school, and she will even get to ride the bus in the morning for all of 10 minutes :) Will my migraines slow down at all? The pain can be so unbearable. I can only take it minute by minute and fix my eyes on the fact that it won't be like this forever. There is most likely a work being done in me just like there was one being done in me when I went through so many miscarriages...though I could not see it then. I trust Him....with my life, with my children, with my love. If things could just slow down a little, I feel like I may be able to breathe!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Hello
No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...just feel like I have ;) We have had a very busy July/August, and I feel like there is barely time to catch my breath. We were able to go to Indiana for a week to see my family, and Noly stayed for an extra week to spend time with her grandparents and great-grandparents. Jule starts at a new school/daycare on Monday...hallelujah! The one he has been in for the past year has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. He has had many wonderful teachers, but the class he has been in since about February has been less than desirable. I am ready for him to go somewhere that he is not labeled and given up on. It has been very difficult for me to wait for the opening at this new place, but I am sure it will be worth it! Noly starts K5 on Tuesday, and I am very happy with her teacher! She will be so excited to go to "real" school :)
I know I need to update more and promise to once work slows down and life gets into a routine again. We appreciate your prayers for Jule as he enters a new place!
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